Saturday, June 14

While I was away ants moved in under my plants

I've engaged in counter-terrorism but I suspect I might not win this one.

I thought my Lady Garden was all about growing things but actually it's nothing to do with gardening. I live at a comedy nexus, a street theatre leyline - the combination of junction, steep hill and lamp post outside my front door makes a natural stopping place - for passersby to collapse breathless or ramp up that argument that's been brewing the last half mile.

If I time my ant-bothering correctly I can watch the schoolchildren washing up and down the hill.

One group of boys comes down later than the others,  I hear them from the top of the hill practising their gangsta speak, one boy voice-raised trying to tell the others important things over their rapping lyrics and beatbox sounds. They come into view practising their moves ... head bobs, shapes with the fingers.

Arriving at my ant-ridden planters, they cluster together and work out the song that's brewing

mm chukka mm chukka mm chukka mm chukka mmmmmm

I'm chillin'    she's willin'    got the feelin'     it's reelin'    hey baby hey baby .... mm chukka mmm


  1. One the bright side, at least the ants don't rap!

  2. There was a bus stop(on a 24 route!) outside our London flat.People would shelter in our porch and lean on the entry buzzers....mmm chukka was not what I said.It may have rhymed, though...

  3. Bergamot. Ants hate Bergamot essential oil... it worked for me when I had a few attempting to take over my kitchen.
    Those lyrics could have been plucked out of the seventies!

    1. I shall water them with earl grey tea - that would be an elegant death!


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