Yesterday I passed a man telling a small boy that he was 'getting spider with yuman zed' - my first thought was that this was must be a new and interesting foodstuff - maybe on the takeaway menu at Wagamama. Lockdown has made me obsess about food even more than usual so it was a bit disappointing to realise a few seconds later that the man was actually telling the boy that he would be getting 'a spider with a human head' and I think that sounds too big to eat.
Maybe I'm just making up excuses, I buy sheep and deer from the butcher, I hardly think a human-headed spider would be much bigger than these creatures, if they do arrive on the market, portion size is probably not going to be the main issue.
In other news
This morning I set fire to the vaccuum cleaner after hoovering up warm ashes - the smell was far worse than I could've imagined
I still swim in the sea but only for 5 minutes because it's reached the sort of cold that makes a person go completely crispy - in the way of those lettuces that get stuck at the back of a fridge
A dog fox has been patrolling our neighbourhood every night for the last week making a noise that sounds like a queaky-toy
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