The Sneaky Leak

That rain water flood that crashed through our roof in August - huge and dramatic - a Niagara event  

Hadn't noticed the silent, secret river seeping though the house - has been for several years 

Didn't notice til November -  going to write something on the calendar,  talking on the phone at the time, not really looking what I was doing but could feel pen slipping rather than writing so paid attention - water dripping through the ceiling, onto weird art calendar, making it even more grotequesly baroque  

Several days progressively tearing the house apart - moving heavy furniture, dismantling shelving, sawing through plasterboard 

Found rogue section of bathroom plumbing, sealing tape eroded, steadily weeping into wall of bedroom.

Weeks later less wet - still damp

Removing storage though - lovely spacious room.

Embracing dampness

Trying to be Patient

This morning is full of impatience.

It’s sunny and I want to be out making my new front garden but I have applications to write. Also I'm waiting inside for the crack plumber to return and replumb my lavatory. The ceiling below the leaky bathroom is decorated with an onion ring drying out pattern.

Out of all of my sown seed trays the only thing showing is rocket, I’m resisting the temptation to pick through them to see if there are any tell-tale threads of germination. White mouldy looking stuff has gathered on the dead-looking trays in the living room - not sure if that's a good sign.

I shared a carroty beef stew and rice with Ted. An old blackandwhite film is on the telly - it’s in the sixties and a man who looks like young Dustin Hoffman is solemnly reciting poetry. The narrator speaks in reverent tones about this man - clipped in the way they spoke back then. Next scene and we are riding around a city in a car with Dustin and another man they are laughing together and pointing at things. The narrator tells us how Colin enjoys Paris

Who’s Colin?

Cohen ... the film’s about Leonard Cohen

Photograph: Denis Brihat

Preparations For Leaving a Town

It will be a sunny weekend so I have seeded soily trays in my sunniest room to get germinating while I'm away. I'm going for chili and mixed leaves and once again I will try my luck with chervil and parsley although they hate growing for me.

Meanwhile I keep replacing sodden towels with dry ones to soak up the water that is still trying to hide in the wooden parts of the bathroom and underneath it.

will visit toilet shop and order new lav on my way heading out of this city to the seaside which will be misty because I can see it on the map magic that exists on the internet.

Gushing

affluent (ˈæflʊənt
- adj
1. rich: wealthy
2.  abundant; copius
3. flowing freely
_ n
4. archaic a tributary stream

related words
backwater, brook, brooklet, creek, rill, rivulet, run (chiefly Midland), Streamlet; fountainhead, head, headstream, headwater, source

 

 

For the last month I have alternated between blaming the weather and the bath for the sometimes-sometimes-not water that makes it's way through the ceiling downstairs.

The plumber rowed in today and listened patiently as I explained my expanding-hot-pipes-hypothesis. He flushed the lavatory then put his hand inside the inspection hole I had made in the wall. Then he told me to put my hand in the hole while he flushed again

And  lo! water did fountain forth from the cistern

It's also wet under the bath because the pipes there aren't quite joined up - this is producing that red herring effect that was driving me crazy and there was also water coming out of another bit of toilet plumbing which wasn't helping matters and now the floorboards are properly up we can really appreciate the smell of the fungus that has been growing in there.


The other thing I did today was mix farmyard manure into the compost heap


I would like tomorrow to be less about effluent


Image: Feather fountain by Kate MccGwire

Dirty Conspiracy

The house and the weather are trying to make a fool out of me;  rain and wind keep happening whenever someone has a bath - then the weather sits back and has a good laugh when I run around shouting

THIS LEAK IS DEFINITELY COMING FROM THE BATH!!!


in other news i am trying to knit a cardigan in one big piece, sleeves and all - my big wool-engineering project

I am working next to the window that looks out onto the garden, I should be finishing that bee book and I nearly have but I am also watching a new cat that has appeared in our garden, being new she doesn't understand that we don't want cats in the garden but she has such an air of astonishment at finding herself in this world and she is so astonished and so young that she's useless at getting the birds so I haven't started shoo-ing her yet.

Sneaky Water

Image: Guy Bourdin

Water started dripping through the ceiling into the thin slice of a room on the ground floor last week, above the slice room is a bathroom - maybe this was the source of the leak.

I called plumbers but none answered, today I unscrewed floorboards and sawed through bits of supporting woodwork  - it was all dry.

I enlisted help from an equally unqualified person, we agreed to clear the slice room then run water through the bathtub to see if we could re-enact the leakage. We drilled a hole in the slice room ceiling to ease the passage of any water wanting to come downstairs, three holes were made in our damp and stained ceiling.

No leakage happened -  maybe it was the rain surfeit creeping into wallspaces and running around the interfloor areas only coming out when the house was fully saturated.

This afternoon I am unravelling one of my charity shop jumpers, nearly all unravelled I  arrived at a pocket - where I  found a condom.

It's ok it's in an unopened packet - but really out of date, so no use

Scary electrics

22nd August
The zeppelin-shaped electrician who lives nearby is my biggest challenge yet in the comprehension stakes. He talks incessantly in a strong southern accent while managing to simultaneously laugh and wheeze. I asked him to drop by the Lovely House to see if he can sort out a dodgy socket. While he’s here I persuade him to look at the leaky shower. He took one look at the shower and told me to get the original fitter back (I have now left at least a dozen phone messages for the original fitter). I pulled out the festering raffia flooring a few days ago and burned it - so at least it's not smelling now.

Once I’ve got the hang of zeppelin-man’s idiosyncrasies he's a mine of information, mainly village gossip but I also learn that the fuse box and electric meter for the Lovely House are locked in a bunker on the other side of the big lake – yes, and see how the wooden pole holding up the electric cable that leads from the bunker to our house is bending alarmingly towards the water.

Fabulous day yesterday, perfect for filming demoiselle damselflies. There’s a narrow canal running through a nearby wood, vegetation hangs over the water and the air is thick with flappy blue-black aeronauts. It’s the usual story; the lads stake out bits of territory and show off to the girls trying to persuade them to have sex. The girls look on unimpressed - but every now and again someone takes pity on one of them and gives it a go.

Hammer Horror Hotel

9th August
The leaking shower had become apparent during my visit last month. I tried calling a plumber recommended by the Landlord without response, I finally called the Landlord directly last week. It is a bit frustrating that his response was to send me Bruno. We have all taken it in turns now to try and secure the new door handles and failed, resigning ourselves to using pliers, monkey wrenches and spanners to get in and out of our rooms. My sister and her husband have arrived to stay for a few days, what with the smell of the rotting raffia stuff on the bathroom floor and the door handle thing, I don’t really feel that I’m offering an ideal holiday experience.

I am also questioning my linguistic abilities and wonder whether there are words in French for 'plumber’ and 'knob’ that sound similar and I am unaware of them.