lockdown end of week 4

News headlines look like this

turkey to release gowns for NHS

branson to mortgage caribbean island

will comic books survive coronovirus

top ten toasties of all time

this is beyond the great depression

watch the NHS drama

tiger country

copycats and crooners

sales of baking goods and alcohol rise while make up and plants fall

demand for crude has plummeted

the upside of lockdown

cobra, is it unusual for a pm to skip

piers morgan now the voice of a nation

will coronovirus change our attitudes to death

quite the opposite

(from Monday's online Guardian)

Delaying my essay-writing assignment

I visited Verbatim Poetry

and found this song to encourage Singaporeans to procreate

I’m a patriotic husband,
you my patriotic wife,
lemme book into ya camp
and manufacture life.

Only financially secure adults
in stable, committed, long-term
relationships should participate.

Luxury Bow Sale

The local shop is having a Luxury Bow sale - I think these will have a use beyond sticking on gifts, the addition of a luxury bow will surely elevate anything; cakes, piles of dirty washing ... maybe if bad news was delivered with a luxury bow it would make it better  - a sort of medal for bravery.


My husband has been in India for a month, he got home last night and is a bit disoriented. While I  cooked supper he told me travellers tales


then he noticed the jugs of coffee and bowls of used tea bags that I am planning to use for wool dying.

What are those?
Coffee and teabags to colour a jumper

Is that normal?


I might have mentioned my fondness for verbatim poetry before, todays UKIP tweet compilation on the Verbatim Poetry site is lovely

Poetry

 

I love it when I get the special poetic spam, this is a favourite:

 

The Pink Mouth Turbo Tube sleeve combines the popular mouth orifice with the latest fleshlight texture - the Turbo Tube. Fortunately, with today's news we don't lose screen real estate, the smaller, bite-sized egos instead of the pressure being all on the right side. Take you car to best garage in the county and arrange to have one of the plane. One worm changes the wallpaper on affected devices to a photo of a plane crash.

I love the idea of a bite-sized ego, I think I have one of those - one that is easily nibbled away at.

Image 'Logan' by Oli Macavoy

House Music

My daily life is mostly occupied with cleaning people's homes. Pointing at and exclaiming about the things that interests me in these places might be considered impolite so instead I have taken inspiration from this verbatim poem and composed my own list of names for the places I have visited over the last six months.

House with many wind apertures

House of hairy dolls

New baby, zombie lady house

Pants on floor house

House of love and frayed carpets

Sticky wall house

House with no place for bottom or cup of tea

House of many cushions

House where big man sleeps

House for lady in bunny suit

House like grandma’s

House where man consider ending life

Party Girl

I've started rescuing poems from the pavement.


This one was mostly crossed out so I've reconstructed it and I've also given it a title:

Party Girl

Hair Extensions
Make-Up
Eyelashes
Extra pair of shoes
tights
under wear
Red earrings
gold ring
pull ups stockings
suspender belt
clutch bag
passport
pj's
wipes
toothbrush
toothpaste
change of pants
outfit
shoes
jewellery
phone charger

Lonley Men

I still keep my eye on the small ads;

LONLEY MEN

I am living in one bedrom flat
in Queensway Bayswater. I am
looking a lady who gone clean my
flat and share my lonely time.
No charge for staying at flat.
No smoker please.

Who could resist?