Fuzzy Pictures: day 5

I've been tearing out strange and interesting pages from magazine for decades, today I decided to decorate one of the edit suites with them, the parts are still being shifted around but they must get stuck down tomorrow.

I'm hoping the editor will enjoy it, this bit appears to be the animal cruelty section, it includes a photo of James Dean playing bongos to some cows and a pig, Emilio Zapata blowing smoke in the face of a night monkey and some images of a horse dressed as a zebra being ridden by a tiger.

Naughty Foxes

Having poured my efforts into sorting out the new offices, my home got totally neglected. Over Christmas I managed to attend to the insides of home, but its outsides are now a bit of a wasteland.

I didn't think this mattered much, I thought the plants would welcome a break from my pruning and grooming.

Wildlife has always passed through our garden; someone has been leaving it's fur-filled marker poo by the bins and I've often disturbed a mangey old fox who likes to sleep his hangover off in the daffodil patch, he clearly brings his chums over for mad parties now and again, they leave trails of licked-out-chicken-fried-box debris in their wake but now things have escalated:

This afternoon I came home early, put some coffee on and went out to see if spring was starting, instead of lovely crocuses I saw burnt out fireworks stuck in the flowerbed and our back gate is broken.

Have foxes developed opposable thumbs or do I now have a pest problem?

Through The Rabbit Hole Mirror Thingy

Previous posts might have hinted at the fact that I have got two not-quite-sorted out properties on my hands; The new business premises is busy and needs more desk space to accommodate the assorted Spanish newsreaders and World-of Warcraft players that are drifting through our doors. Meanwhile my home is barren, if I would like to evolve from picnic-style to normal-people-style-eating, I will need things like a dining table and chairs.



There are two vital factors at play here; cash flow and ... cash flow

I am scouring Ebay, Gumtree and any other preloved-items sites to meet our needs.

I need chairs, I type 'dining chairs' into the search engine. The three top items that correspond to my search for my local area appear:

FREE: LOVING HOME NEEDED
8 year old black and white spade female cat in need of rehoming as she is being constantly attacked by a stray cat which has recently moved into the area. She is completely housetrained, timid... read more

WANTED. ELC HAPPYLAND CHURCH AND/OR WEDDING PARTY. THANKS.

£80 no offers: SALE.SYLVANIAN FAMILIES GRAND HOTEL
As new, bought in 2010 but never played with. No box. All balconies/entrance intact. Extras include half an asda bag of accessories. More or less full kitchen, hotel reception and odd furniture...

I have no idea what is a meant by 'Happyland Church' or a ' Sylvanian Families etc.' I feel alienated by modern culture (but I do like 'odd furniture') plus I am worried about the spade cat who is getting racial discrimination. I forget that I am looking for chairs.

Groping Around

I’ve never been keen on winter it does horrors for my skin, my fingers are all cracked and sore and my lips are dessicated. At home the heating system is in decline and is currently not really working so I’m spending more time than is healthy at the office which is still sweltering.

Our new office premises aren’t quite resolved yet. The lights I installed in the production office actually seem to make the room darker, by mid-afternoon with all lights apparently on we need to strap on a head torch to find our way to the filing shelves. There is also an ongoing game of musical chairs, desks and computers as we try and work out where we are all going to fit and who’s best to sit next to.

It's quite crowded at the moment, the whole crew is here and we have an additional Spanish translating lady in for a few weeks, one of the many issues to work out is how to get a rigging team to Costa Rica with a set of crossbows without raising security alarms*

*the reason for weapons will be explained in more detail over here

Party Time

The new offices have separated the Cake Eaters from the Camera Boys. The former occupy the large beautiful-ceiling-room and mostly spend time looking at hot men on each others computer screens. The Camera Boys bob in and out of their rooms like meercats investigating new burrows, they carry bits of wire or a metal box as they go but basically they’re just visiting each other to look at pictures of hot girls on each others computer screens.

Last month we all went out together. It was a straight-from-work-fancy-dinner event, an industry-award-ceremony affair where we sat at big round tables set with white linen, long-stemmed wine glasses and packets of sweeties stamped with the logo of a television company. We brought our geary clothes to work and hung them on behind-the-door-hooks until tea-time, then one by one people disappeared and reappeared to stand around feeling vaguely uncomfortable in suits and gowns until a critical mass of gloriousness was reached and just one cardigan-clad person remained tapping furiously at her keyboard.

Overheating

At home I have plugged in a dehumidifier – I watch transfixed as the machine sucks gallons of water out of the walls.

The new office has been renamed the inferno, we believe that the coven of dragons living the dungeons are being tormented by stiletto-wearing lesbians. We are all working in our bikinis, except Miss Whiplash who wears no more than a fun fur merkin.