Thursday, December 29

Best Christmas Present




Pork Tool Kit

Child Scaring



My Christmas contained young humans this year, I'm not often in their company and I find it hard to gauge my answers to their questions;

My 4-year-old nephew asked me what work his Auntie Lorna does

She sells cranial drills


...to brain surgeons


... So they can do brain transplants.

Tuesday, December 13

Reviving Absurdity


Who doesn't need an off-the-shoulder-see-thru poncho trimmed with pompoms?

I just went to Paris.

The whole point of going away is to renew one's sense of the absurd, you go to a new place with all its strange behaviour, you're there long enough to normalise the strangeness, then you come back home to a whole new set of previously unobserved ridiculousness.

The point of the Parisian trip was to attend a 'Congress', I found a world in miniature: I felt enormous as I tried not to wolf eclairs made for dolls and sipped on the tiny tiny cups of coffee. There were also people speaking and there were films being shown but I mainly remembered people obsessing about beverages. Listening makes people really hungry.

There were a lot of Americans at this event, from my own visits to the USA I know that American people need to be permanently plumbed into large reservoirs of caffeine - at the end of the Paris event when we were asked how the next one could be improved the big demand was for bigger coffee, I would've asked for bigger cakes but I was too shy.
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