Saturday, December 11

Back From Berlin

Berlin was great, even when I couldn't see it and was simply fighting my way down the street inhaling snowflakes. I am back home now, here's what has stuck in my head about the trip:

• Berlin snow is drier and whiter than the stuff we get at home, this makes it really easy to see how much urination happens outside

• many Lady Berliners look a lot like Christine Keener which was nice because I have quite a crush on Ms Keener

• there are loads of shops selling good quality leather footwear - all of them identical

• Berlin is heaving with Christmas markets, the whole population must be drunk on Glühwein fumes throughout December. I consulted this guide to decide which one to go to and was very tempted to try the Hanukkah Market, partly because the guide told me that I'd find
puppet shows and live music celebrating the rededication of the temple in Jerusalem more than 2,000 years ago. Cause nothing says “we won the holy war” like a puppet show.

• I was warned that Japanese and Vietnamese cuisine is considered passé by Berliners these days - right now it's all about Korea and bibimbap. I was too busy eating strudel and spatzle for such exotica.

• there's a lot of art happening in Berlin - unfortunately I didn't make it to the Hamburger Bahnhof where they are collecting urine from the reindeer which make up the current exhibition there. Apparently reindeer urine is halucinogenic and punters with $1,000 can pay to stay overnight and try this delicacy.

...I appear to have started and ended my list with wee.


  1. St. Frank Zappa said a long time ago, "Don't eat the yellow snow."

    And I say, "Don't eat the yellow snow, especially if you can read someone's name in yellow letters."

  2. The Christmas decorations were just beginning to appear when I was there so I missed out on the reindeer wee.

    PS: Did you visit the Deutsche Kinemathek Museum?

  3. Is bibimbap that pickled whatever it is in jars...hermetically sealed so that no idea of the toxicity of the contents can be gained until rashly eating some?
    Or is it something worse?

  4. Yellow snow! Splutter,giggle...
    Reindeer wee,eh? I always thought it was the antlers that did it.

  5. Here's a little more about reindeer urine

  6. I learned long ago from a college friend that one rule for walking in NYC in the summer is, "assume it's urine." I.e., when one is walking in Manhattan and one sees small amounts of water trickling here and there(which happens at about every tenth square of pavement in some neighborhoods)... behave accordingly. I guess snow takes away the guesswork on that point. Leaving urine aside for a moment, I am just dying to know why you decided to go Berlin for sightseeing?

  7. It’s not nice to take the piss out of reindeers….
    The snow here in Thailand is dry and warm.
    Thanks for this enlightening and amusing post.

    All the best, Boonie

  8. 'Lo Lulu. Berlin is a town of bears but they can't match the bear of Appenzell (priapic in his virility gules).

  9. Will - but it's ok to eat the pink snow right?

    xl - how can I tell you that I didn't make it to Potsdammer platz or any of the other amazing places that were on my list - all I can plead is Too Much Bloody Snow

    Mme Fly - I think it's noodles - probably a lot duller than it sounds

    Idlethoughts - Oh no you've been chewing the wrong end of Rudolf!

    Nursey - should've known you'd already investigated xxx

    KSV - steeped in history and atmosphere and the whole Wall thing ... been dying to go for years, feel like I arrived at the party a little late though.

    Boonie - I would never take the piss out of reindeers…
    Could use a dose of that Thai snow xxx

    Inky - how lovely to see you - trust you to know where the horniest bears are.

  10. Can't help but wonder if the shoe shops are identical or the footwear itself is identical. Takes the pressure off deciding which pair of shoes to go with which outfit if one's shoes are all the same.

    Reindeer urine...I wonder if that's why Santa's elves are so jolly...and wee.

  11. Glad you've managed to get back despite the traditional Britain Shivers transport issues.

  12. But Strudel is Austrian and Spätzle are Bavarian *wails*. Urgh. I hate Berlin. Everybody says 'but hey it's so cool and so artsy fartsy and a lot is HAPPENING there'. And everybody and their aunt moves there and then they say 'hey look at me how cool I am I moved to cool Berlin'. And I just want to puke in the snow, right next to the yellow lettering. Did I mention I hate Berlin?

  13. Kevin - I got back - just can't move around Britain now.

    Metmum - Is currywurst a bit German? I wasn't too keen on that. Maybe Belrin is just lovely in the snow for a few days but I did love it.

  14. I too have a crush on Christine Keener, I must book my plane tickets.

  15. Onli been there once. I hadn't realised they were hosting the World Cup that week. Made for an interesting stay.

  16. HOW would you find out that Reindeer urine was hallucinogenic with all that snow around to melt and drink…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH? ;-)


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