When is a Kitchen not a Kitchen?

Fridge and microwave were hauled upstairs, lounge became lounge/kitchen diner, Bill the builder started work on the ground floor tearing up the floor and knocking holes in walls.

That first morning Bill asked me when the kitchen was arriving. I pointed at the cooker and dishwasher standing together in one corner and told him that the dining table, sink and a couple of sets of drawers were under the blue tarp outside. Bill gave me a look but said nothing and then the plumber turned up, he also asked when the kitchen was arriving, there were a couple of beats of silence, Bill and I looked at each other, then he informed the plumber

I think she wants it to be organic


Apparently a kitchen is defined by the arrival of a set of identically new items, the main point of the modern kitchen exercise is to cram as many 'units’ and appliances into the available space - these items must be fixed, they can’t move or change because, in say five years time, when your circumstance change or that style has become passé, you will be expected to take the whole lot out and start again. Clever, clever marketing people.

When we first moved into this house there was a constantly shifting population of lodgers, children and visitors, we needed lots of storage for food, pots and pans and work surfaces for prep. Cooking happened at odd times, people loafed around on sofas watching tv, arty school projects happened, Christmas decorations were made. After a few years of this, the office moved in, lodgers moved out, children grew up and the kitchen turned into a meeting room/workshop/cooking place/dining room.

When the office moved out last year the amount of cupboardage in the kitchen seemed excessive so I removed everything above waist height and proved the law about rubbish expansion in the presence of storage space - just how many colanders do we need, how many times have we used those funny knives, what exactly were we planning to do with all those plastic carrier bags? Why do we have a drawer/drawers for things that we don't know what to do with?

It's not quite finished yet - but already our old stuff  looks new because it’s in a different place, there’s room to add more storage if we need it but right now we’re enjoying lots of lovely spaces between lumps of furniture.

Danger: This blog might be turning into one of those home improvement sites – if you are allergic to such things turn away now.

Sorry about all the blog-neglect going on here, renovations Chez Labonne have taken over my life.

It's the ground floor, and it started with just a little bit of picking around the edges, first in February, and then a bit more in May,

Can Of Worms doesn't do the resulting mess justice: over in the lounge-ey area, the removal of a rancid blue nylon carpet uncovered shiny little tiles with deep fissures running through them. I threw my biggest rug over them, dragged in a couple of sofas and decided to ignore the situation for another thirteen years.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen area, tearing down the wall cupboards and built-in appliances revealed some impressive mouldiness. I picked off the scabbiest bits, whitewashed the walls, proclaimed myself a ‘New Rustic Minimalist’ and decided to ignore the situation for another thirteen years.

I cracked a week later and after many false commencement dates, Bill the builder arrived last month...