Ben is one of my work colleagues, a slim man, height-wise he's in Tom Cruise's neighbourhood. Before our shift started I followed him upstairs to the staff kitchen noticing that his trousers were so tight that his bottom looked like two boiled eggs in a small hanky. Also his shirt was straining at the seams.
The staff kitchen had been recently used for a brainstorming team meeting - the white board was headed up with the title 'What am I going to achieve this Year?' - positive assertions were scribbled all over the board, I focused on the section that read:
eat more healthily
make quality time with my family
get more exercise
learn to make sushi
smash global capitalism
While I was reading, Ben had been shaking together brown powder with a litre of water I watched him glug down the mixture and when his eyes had stopped watering he said
I'm on a Plan - I have to eat a meal every three hours, it's like ten chicken breasts a day and I'm finding it really hard to get that much inside me
The event was a talk called Why Has Everything Gone Wrong? - when it got underway, we closed the doors on the audience and sat in the foyer watching as someone filled the venue's Twitter feed with porn
Peace and Quiet - Ohio inventor Philip Clover came up with a dramatic way to discourage body snatchers in 1878: a “coffin torpedo.” Basically a live cartridge is attached to...
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