Wednesday, June 13

Cat repair person for hire

I've returned to Devon to look after a cat called Edna, I was here a couple of months ago. Edna was a gaunt, trembly old thing when I arrived but after just 10 days in my care Edna turned into a lovely shiny thing, her tembliness became bounce, she had plumped up nicely and her owners exclaimed with joy about the new, improved cat waiting for them.

I seem to have discovered how to work the cat reset button

I'm not saying I can mend a properly broken cat, my abilities lie in fixing those slightly manky cats, the ones that have gone a bit boss-eyed and keep forgetting to clean themselves, or the ones that over-lick one area of their body, also the bony neurotic cats that shiver for no good reason and I'm pretty good at eliminating asthma attacks. I've had no luck with dirty-protest cats like the Bum-Crayoner but I do think there might be a call for a professional cat-plumper-and-polisher (feline-smoother/cat valet?) - I'm working on my marketing for this new business


  1. I have a feral tomcat who calls periodically: a couple of days ago he arrived looking very thin and hungry. All the same, he turned up his nose at Whiskas and only ate my own cat's Gourmet Perle. They have us right where they want us.

  2. I look forward to your expansion into dogs, namely scratchy-dogs that scratch even after flea treatment.

    1. The problem with dogs is that I become more dog in their company and I'm the one who ends up with anti-social habits

  3. Have you ever considered gerbils?


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