The London neighbourhood is not at all like my Bristol one; take the local sex shop, in Bristol it's all blacked-out windows and bad typography, here in London the window is swathed in pink satinette and doubles as a joke shop, so you can pick up some bloodshot-eyeball fairy lights and a severed hand with your gimp mask and spanking paddle – it just makes sense.
I'm struggling with the concept of this one, it's a bit like shops we have in Bristol called Pound Shops, where the deal is simple - everything costs a pound. In London they have shops that look identical, stock the same brightly-coloured tat, but the crucial difference is that they promise everything will cost more than a pound, but 99p or PLUS - I ask you!
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A niece of mine worked as a checkout clerk at the Dollar General store (everything $1). I took several items to checkout and asked her how much each one cost. She was not amused.
ReplyDeleteReally, when you think about it, you could call ANY shop 99p or Plus if your items cost more than 99p! It's brilliant. They only need to have one 99pm item on sale and voila! We have dollar stores here and my local one is THE TITS! I can spend hours in that place looking at the stupendous array of tat.
ReplyDeleteTHo nothing is new at our local Value Village stores, they've tons of good stuff, including severed hands and vintage clothing ... but no sex toys. After all, our country was founded by religious zealots who hated sex and some things never change.
ReplyDeleteNow you're not going to believe this but the local sex shop in, get this, MOOLOOLABA of all places was a riot! My mother used to encourage me to go there (I was of course over 18) to get any and every thing by way of practical jokes. Sometimes I wonder if she ever really understood the place... ;-) See you're going to the right places in London! Been offered a job yet? ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe severed hand is for the lonely gentleman who thinks he needs a friend.
ReplyDeletenever pay more than 99p for sex
ReplyDeleteEllis, what do you get for 99p? Sorry Lulu for interrupting, aren't those your boots in the pic?
ReplyDeleteThere's old ladies at the gimcrack who'll offer sex for 99p
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not even our currency
99p or plus. How much of a plus, knowing London, one wonders. As for the blacked out sex shop window in Bristol, I guess provinciality still prevails.
ReplyDeletexl - Does the girl even still speak to you?
ReplyDeleteMs Assassin you could call ANY shop 99p or Plus
My point exactly, I was thinking of opening a Rolls Royce showroom with this name on.
Bill - I like the sound of your village store
Ange My mother used to encourage me to go there ...Sometimes I wonder if she ever really understood the place
I bet she understood the place alright
MJ Severed penises would make more sense.
well quite
Kevin The severed hand is for the lonely gentleman who thinks he needs a friend.
ReplyDeleteI thought lonely gentlemen put a tourniquet on their arm until it was numb for that effect
Mr Nadler I certainly never pay more than 99p for sex
inkspot aren't those your boots in the pic?
You have correctly spotted the supplier of my footwear Inky, a wider shot of the window would also reveal it to be the source of Ms Whiplash's flagellation devices
Nursemyra There's old ladies at the gimcrack who'll offer sex for 99p
Do you take them up on he offer?
Mrwriteon - everything in London is very extra plus and more than even that!
Eeeek... heaven forbid Miz Lulu!
ReplyDeleteThis would be a great idea for a new chain store in France. You could make a fortune! But the items would have to 1€ or less.
ReplyDeleteSex shop in disguise? How cool is that. Could you post the address? Have to go and buy some, erm, jokey stuff.
ReplyDeleteI would need the evidence protection suit as well if I were anyplace with a nice carpet. Shackleton managed to spill some Coke on my brother's white carpet last week. Much rushing about with rags. Oh well. I wish I was there to shop with you.
ReplyDelete"99p or PLUS"? So everything costs 99p or MORE? Madness. "99p or BUST" would be good - it either costs 99p or it's broken!
ReplyDeleteSo would a box of matches cost 99p? I smell a rip off...
ReplyDeleteSx
nursemyra - Eeeek... heaven forbid
ReplyDeleteWho does take them upon the offer then?
Dedene - I don't remember seeing euro shops in France, let's get them started
Metropolitan - it's opposite Olympia, got some lovely stuff.
KSV - I think it's my propensity for spillage that worries me. Do come over and check out the rabbits
Gadjo -"99p or BUST" perfect
Scarlet - I expect the matches would be novelty ones that don't work though. "99p AND bust"
I am amused by the Western Union sign above the entrance. Handy to know that one can wire 99p or PLUS to loved ones overseas.
ReplyDeleteHairy eyeball fairy lights! Oh I NEED some!
ReplyDeleteHi Kat - is Western Union associated with money-laundering fraud over in Canada too. Over here one is frequently emailed with requests to put 99p or plus in a Western Union account for safe keeping - these requests often come from Nigeria
ReplyDeleteHello Ms Pie - everyone should have hairy eyebals strung around their Love Garden