Friday, April 16

How To Deal With Awkward Customers

It has been a 'Watch and Learn' sort of week, this weeks theme demonstrated some ways one might respond to difficult requests from people;

Example 1
I was in the film production office which is full of ant talk; a crew is in Costa Rica, trying to film ants and avoid getting washed away by rain or eaten away by fungus. The Camera Boys still in the office are impressing us with their latest hair and eyebrow styling while simultaneously trying to arrange the next trip, Zena is back on the research. She reported this conclusion from a world authority on myrmecology

Ants will never do a task that is beneath their abilities.

this turns out to be an appropriate response to so many requests

Example 2
before heading over to my cooking job, I decided to try out the 'Exclusive Jamaican Restaurant’ that has recently opened it’s doors in my neighbourhood, it’s way too exclusive to bother with a menu. before I was seated the waitress said
What you wanna eat?

I asked what was being served, she folded her arms, cast her eyes heavenwards and started reciting a list

stew vegetable
fry chicken
goat stew
salt fish
ox tail ...

I asked what the ox tail was like

It is like chicken

Example 3
I was cooking supper and two little girls were playing shop in my kitchen - they had set up a joke shop;

Shopkeeper girl: Hello Madam, what do you want?

Customer girl: A whoopee cushion and a big nose please

Shopkeeper girl: Anything else?

Customer girl: Chocolate

Shopkeeper girl: It has to be a trick

Customer girl: A chocolate trick please


  1. mmmm goat stew.

    my first christmas in france, they served goat.


  2. I don't know which is more difficult to work with - singing ants or wait staff ants.

  3. Although the service sounds continental, the menu sounds like it could be potentially be good. Was it as bad as the service would lead you to believe? Was the chicken jerk?

  4. Come to Oz Lulu, my oxtail stew doesn't taste like chicken. I'll even put gremolata on it for you

  5. "It is like chicken"

    I'm thinking the waitress may be a Dadaist!

  6. I wonder if you'd asked her what the chicken was like she'd have said it was like ox tail?

  7. "What's the ox tail like?" "It is like chicken". Ha, that's my kind of restaurant! Remimnds me of this The Ronnies Sketch.

  8. I guess she must have thought you were really hungry. Everything tastes like chicken if...

  9. Screamish - when I was 18 I worked as a goatherd in France - after 6 months work I got paid two goats (which lots of us ate at my leaving party)

    Hello Not Evan - never work with ants, they are very ungrateful

    Alesa - the service was hilarious all evening but the food was very good.

    Nursey - I'll get the plane to continue eastward from my next destination

    xl - that's exactly it, the waitress is a Dadaist!

  10. Eryl - pretty much every enquiry got a great response - I should have asked about the chicken - I'll go back

    Gadjo - off to watch The Ronnies Sketch now.

    Alesa - I love the 'everything tastes like chicken' idea

  11. I've never eaten goat but, as I loathe and detest goat's cheese, I'm assuming I wouldn't like it very much.

    Have you got another regular cooking job back in Bristol?

  12. Can I have a chocolate trick too, please?

  13. As much as I like goat (the animal itself), I detest any edible goat product.

    Too gamey and the smell is too overpowering.

    Try the chicken roti if they have it on the menu.

  14. Lulu the intrepid ventures into yet another ethnic enclave into which she may not be welcome. (It said "exclusive Jamaican," didn't it? Are you Jamaican, at least on the outside? I think not. Can't expect the red carpet, can you?) Those little girls sound like heartbreakers.

  15. The restaurants I go to never have that much personality! I'm a little jealous, actually :)

  16. "Ants will never do a task that is beneath their abilities."

    We'll have to have that made up as a sampler for the workplace.

  17. Frenchie and MJ - I'm keen on goat myself, usually they're killed very young so it has a milder taste than lamb. But each to their own.

    I wasn't offered roti.

    Synchy - yes - If you eat it wearing clown shoes

    K - You're right, I hadn't understood the sense of exclusivity the establishment intended.

    Those little girls will be kidnapped next time I'm working there.

    StefRobrts - I much prefer a restaurant with personality (which is why I end up in a lot of strange places)

    Kevin - are you a cross stitcher?

    Glory I blame the ant parents...
    this generation of ants don't know they're born do they?

  18. 'If you eat it wearing clown shoes' No problem - I'll don a whole outfit.

  19. Is this a picture of the actual restaurant? Wow, you are brave!

  20. I think I want to come back as an ant...

  21. It *all* tastes like chicken, in the end.

    Ants: everyone in the world needs to read this ...

  22. Its probably trick chicken...say that 11 times. I love your 'found conversations.'

  23. synchy - will you put up the photo?

    Met Mum - I think it's braver to venture into a nail bar or get one of those Brazilian jobs

    Scarlet - I hear that some ants keep chilled Bolly on tap

    Red - we work with Mr Wilson but I hadn't seen this piece.

    FJ - I'm a big collector of 'found conversations.' have travelled past my own stop on many occasions to hear one out. Glad you like them too.

  24. Chocolate tricks sound great to me ;-)!


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