Wednesday, April 14

When Life Gives You Lemons ...


This morning I spied some fat, warty and outrageously expensive lemons in my local gourmet grocery. A friend had recently rhapsodised at length on the joys of an Amalfi lemon salad so I took out a mortgage and bought a few. I have since been online checking out recipes.

This recipe looked good but once I got Googling I couldn't stop and I have ended up discovering many other uses for a posh lemon, those listed below are mostly from this place I have added a couple of my own ideas

THINGS YOU'LL NEED

Amalfi lemons
1. Soften rough elbows
by rubbing half a lemon on your elbows each evening before bed.

2. Lighten age spots
. Rub a cotton ball soaked in Amalfi lemon juice on the age spots. You will notice them lighten within 6-8 weeks.

3. Calluses on hands or feet can be reduced and softened thanks to the acidity of the lemon. Put a slice of lemon on the corn and cover with a band aid overnight. Let the lemon act during sleep, it will facilitate the removal of the hardened skin. Or put half a lemon in heels of your shoes during the day to get the added benefit of more tallness.

4. Blackheads and blemishes, rub lemon juice on your blackheads at night right before bed and notice a difference in a few days. For blemishes, dab a cotton ball soaked in Amalfi lemon juice right on the blemish several times per day.

5. To improve concentration put a few drops of lemon essential oil in a diffuser.

6. Stop your partner snoring, sew an Amalfi lemon into the back of their pajama jacket

7. Improve your posture, practise walking with an Amalfi lemon on your head


Do join in...

29 comments:

  1. Oh. I was thinking that an Amalfi was an Italian sports car!

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  2. Held between knees, Amalfi lemons can act as female contraceptives.

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  3. Does their being so posh and knobbly (like me, ho ho) make it harder to throw them accurately at the pope?

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  4. wow, sugar, i thought y'all were gonna list some more food recipes! ;~D xooxoxo

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  5. I bet you could do most of those with regular lemons. But I like the suggestion about sewing it on the back of a snorer's pyjama.

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  6. £5.25 a kilo??? jeez!!!

    i like Alesa's hint...ingenious....

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  7. From now on I will buy my shoes a size bigger so I can slip posh lemons into them.

    My husband doesn't wear pajamas, do you think I could just sew the lemon straight onto his back?

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  8. I have a lemon tree that literally shits lemons. These additional uses may come in handy...funny stuff Lulu.

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  9. Fill a water pistol with the juice of one Amalfi lemon. Aim and fire at the eyes of any scary monster who would like to eat you.

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  10. I'm joining in right now! Here's another one. Cure toothache: remove a decaying tooth by opening your mouth wide and having your partner chuck an Amalfi lemon at the offending molar.

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  11. Do you think that squirty lemon from a plastic yellow thing would do all this too? Do they have to have come from Amalfi? How much were they (prepares to gasp).?

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  12. xl - Do you know the Duchess of Amalfi?

    Alesa Warcan - welcome to you and your excellent idea, one could sew them into a man's pants to the same end.



    Inky - can you throw smooth lemons accurately at the pope?

    sav - I'm all out of recipes sweetie


    Dedene - I think you're right

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  13. Screamish - £5.25 a kilo - made my eyes water too.


    Eryl From now on I will buy my shoes a size bigger so I can slip posh lemons into them.
    can you combine that with the posture exercise?

    do you think I could just sew the lemon straight onto his back?
    yes absolutely!


    alphawoman - hello


    FJ - I have a lemon tree that literally shits lemons.
    lucky man!

    Synchy - I imagine there are plenty of monsters round your way

    Gadjo - another brilliant idea from the 'Dilo Idea Machine"


    French - probably but your friends might not be so impressed. I hope they were brought from Amalfi in a horse drawn carriage on mink cushions

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  14. I don't know about amalfi lemons, but adding strips of lemon peel minus the pith to your average bottle of vodka mightily impeoves the taste

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  15. Monsters round my way - only plastic ones, they have no appetite; quite harmless. :)

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  16. Now WHO has been throwing lemons at the pope?? :¬)

    (I was at home all night. With my Mother. Honest!)

    xxx

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  17. Lemons - great for whitening teeth...
    and for juggling... and for talking to when my teddy bear is at the grooming parlour.
    Sx

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  18. Nursey - I shall try that vodka trick

    Synchy - that's because you have them tamed (or you are feeding them) - I bet they were fierce when they first arrived.

    Map - I know that you would be the first to aim - and I'd be right behind you!

    Scarlet - the tooth one makes me wince and my inner lip go dry.

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  19. The price of the lemons can be explained by the high death toll (and subsequent funeral charges) of Amalfi lemon pickers who negotiate perilous bends in the impossibly narrow coastal road to get to work every morning... I'm a bit scared to figure out why Limoncello then is comparatively so cheap - I mean, what's in it anyway???

    Lemons with warts - sounds a bit dodgy to me. Best buy paper from Amalfi ;-)

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  20. 5.25 a kilo(exclamation mark frenzy)

    Of course I want to know how you know what a fluffer is. What a job for someone to have - it would probably put you right off sex for a start.

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  21. "Sew an Amalfi lemon into the back of their pajama jacket." -- Uhmn .... have you gone mental? I don't even know what a "pajama jacket" is, let alone have the amount of mentalism necessary to sew a lemon into the back of one. A whole lemon? Why not an orange, or a pumpkin, or a dead terrier?

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  22. I'm almost certain that sewing a lemon into the back of the jammys is against the Geneva Convention.

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  23. Ange - I was wondering that about Limoncello too. I suspect mainly Bad Things

    Frenchie - how do I know what a fluffer is? You know I have had a varied career right?...


    Mr Red - do they not have jammies in Canada? I have had to resort to sewing a live terrier into the back of my husband's nightwear - but I tried those other things first.


    donn - I don't think it's against the Geneva Convention.

    Glad you've turned up we were wondering if you are the Sperm Donn featuring in last week's post?

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  24. The Amalfi lemon is an essential component of the Jeremy Paxman Underpants Test.

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  25. Just stick a halved Amalfi lemon down your t-shirt for that aspirational third nipple look.

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  26. One of your best and funnier posts. I first thought an Amalfi was a sports car too.

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  27. Kevin - And have you adopted the JPUT when out shopping?

    Glory - they are wonderfully nippley, one could stick severel down the tshirt and look like a recently farrowed sow.

    BB - thank you

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  28. I'm at that age and shape where acreage is the foremost consideration.

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