Thursday, October 21

Pictures Of Me (ii)

... the new me is taking longer to emerge than expected. There’s improvement; I’ve relaxed a little, got off my high heels and tried gathering flowers and rainbows, but it's not quite the dramatic personal transformation I’d hoped for - I’m still clutching at a panapoly* of coping mechanisms.

I’ve now diagnosed myself as suffering from empty nest syndrome.

My home is actually quite a lot emptier than I’d expected, the size of the offices and the extra people meant that we needed to take most of our own furniture as well as all of the things I’ve been collecting for the last two months. Removing the pictures from the walls has highlighted the damp issues that I’ve been ignoring for the last eight years.

I have a friend who tells me that his own house only stays upright because the woodworm are holding hands. Last week, I brought the picnic table in from the garden so I could have something to sit at and a place to eat - one of the legs has gone rotten at the screws and wobbles around like a six-year old’s front tooth - this turns dinner into a sort of circus performance.

I went to visit my nephew for a few days to see if the damp might just disappear if I stopped looking at it:

My nephew is three and has just started nursery school. A couple of days ago he asked if he could have a glass of wore-er

his mother looked puzzled and said
wore-er - I’m sorry I don’t think I know that word

my nephew replied
It means water, it’s the word they use for it in another country’

really what country is that?


* I particularly liked this definition of the word
1576, from Gk. panoplia "complete suit of armor," from pan- "all" + hopla (pl.) "arms" of a hoplites ("heavily armed soldier"). Originally fig., of "spiritual armor," etc. (allusion to Eph. vi); non-armorial sense of "any splendid array" first recorded 1829.


  1. Wait a minute! Are you suggesting you're a bag lady?

  2. nooooooooooo! they took the table? why did they take the art work? xoxoxox

    ps. but you really do look a bit more relaxed, sugar!

  3. I like the shade of that new pancake make-up you're wearing. Makes up for the lack of high heels.

  4. At least your hair is all one colour - I look like a 1950s two-tone car!

  5. Hello sweetie, I apologise for my absence, but I've had problems commenting here - I kept getting an error message on the previous post.
    Anyhow... I am saving the woodworm line to use in the future!

  6. It's like "wat-ah", which is what they call water in Japan.

    I like the new you ... you're almost three dimensional.

  7. You poor empty-nester, Lulu! I can't believe they took the artwork too!

    Did I ever tell you I used to wear a paperbag as my mask when I was four or five? I wish I could wear one now!

  8. They took all your drawers?!

  9. I'm about to lapse into advice giving, so forgive me: Dehumidifier and a liberal wipe with mould and mildew killer may be all you need. And everything should be at least 25cm from the away from the external walls.

    I live in a damp flat in a damp country and a dehumidifier is a good pal. Plus it's weirdly satisfying emptying all that water out, like freeing a splinter or an ingrown hair.

  10. You look like you have track marks on your arms. I hope you haven't become an addict of some awful kind.

  11. You looked upset in your previous picture, but now you're smiling. Even with the empty nest syndrome, i think there's some progress.

    PS.- Yes, your nephew is right: we drink wore-er in Spain :)

  12. I almost envy you. I was having nostalgia pangs the other day about having just moved into this place with nothing in the house but a sleeping bag, cassette-radio, Nicholas Parsons' autobiography and a lavatory that the vendor had thoughtfully blocked with cement so that squatters couldn't move in.

  13. the woodworm line is hilarious

  14. I'm all about the "water of life"...


  15. Will - I am indeed a bag lady.

    Sav- no-one can get any work done without art my darling

    xl - wish I could sing like Lulu

    Louciao - that shade is what I call American Tan

    moreidlethoughts - "I look like a 1950s two-tone car" I want to see that picture please

    Scarlet - sorry you've had posting problems but hope you don't have woodworm sweetie xx

    Red - almost three dimensional - Hmm

  16. Scribe - paperbags have so many uses don't they?

    Eryl - They took my drawers - I am stripped bare

    Glory - I have borrowed a dehumidifier and am sitting enthralled as the moisture is sucked from the walls - thanks for the advice sweetheart xx

    Madame DeFarge - I fear that I am indeed an addict of the worst kind.

    Leni Qinan - there is progress, the smile has slipped off the bag and back on my face.

    Kevin - The joy of emptying out - I remember your fridge story

    nursemyra - I know

    MJ - me too - make it a double


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