Sunday, April 24

Build It And They Will Come

I attended my first Pre-riot Party last Thursday, here's what happened:

5pm: Many police piled in to arrest some squatters living across from a newly opened Tesco store, these naughty people had been singing and dancing outside it all week handing out free cake to anyone who didn’t go in. They had a sign saying HONK IF YOU HATE TESCO - the cacophony of honking cars had been continuous for 7 days.

Tesco might have been getting a bit fed up with this, but I'm sure that had nothing to do with the evening's events.

Four people were arrested without incident and nothing happened so the police sent for back up. During the arrest the police discovered the squatter's cider supplies and made a statement to the press that they had removed 'suspected petrol bombs’

6pm: ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY police along with dozens of vans and horses have now arrived, they are in full riot gear. They try and upset people by blocking the roads and pushing them around but we’re on holiday, it’s Easter – Peace Man!

11pm: It’s a beautiful warm evening and I’m on my way home, but police and horses are blocking the roads around my house so I join the milling crowds, there are dozens of bars along the road where the police want the riot to happen. so the essential ingredients of many people and alcohol should get things going, but we’re on holiday and in no mood to protest.

This non-event is surreal, lines of police stand behind riot shields across the roads. We try and ask the police about what is going on but they stand on silently waiting for the riot to happen.

2am: The crowds in the bars have been tweeting away about 'something going down’ in Stokes Croft, hundreds of people have now turned up for a riot, the bars are closing, AND NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

Guess what happened next?


  1. I'm waiting with bated breath...probably a waste of time?

  2. jeez. I saw the difference in headlines too- on The Times it was "Rioting yobs injure police" or something then on The Guardian "Riot police swoop to arrest...four squatters".

    What is wrong with the English police? they are losing the plot...

  3. I'm thinking: Pre-Royal Wedding Party!

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Maybe the chorus line of Police got so bored they brooke into a spirited version of Y-M-C-A.

  6. Perhaps the Chief Constable could set up a course in cider tasting for his force to avoid future problems...

  7. I'm with MJ. Was there more cake?

  8. All those police for four squatters with cider.

  9. Sounds like a ... riot.
    p.s. If you want to see a real riot, then be in Montreal when the Habs lose (or win, actually) a Stanley Cup final.

  10. Bizarre…..

    Have a good and legal week, Boonie

  11. Dinahmow - definitely a waste of time

    MJ Cake! but not very delicious cake I'm afraid

    Screamish - the whole business continues to be widely misreported, I guess everyone has their agenda

    xl - I guess it was a kind of Pre-Royal Wedding Party

    Bill - wouldn't that have been great?

  12. Mme Fly - Great idea, I'll send it in.

    Nursey - cake has all gone now I'm afraid

    Synchy - I think the police wanted to make a point about how much we need them

    Kevin - Street parties, it's been going on ever since!

    Red-handed - that sounds like an invitation

    Boonie - thank you


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