Saturday, September 5

My Little Pony

I’m lucky enough to have a big derelict building at the end of my street. The broad steps in front of it are occupied from mid-afternoon onwards by the local winos, but in the mornings anyone can use the space. Last week some ladies in green quilted waistcoats stood among the empty bottles and dried up body fluids and set up a sandwich board advertising Free Prayers.

I wasn’t busy and felt that I could do with a boost, so I told one of the ladies what I needed, then I stood next to her while she shut her eyes, clasped her hands in front of her bosom and said a sort of poem from my words, then I continued on home.

I was a bit sceptical, then excited. Then I got anxious because if Jesus really did send me a pony, I wasn’t sure where I’d put it. This morning though I witnessed a true miracle. On burning my toast the clear image of a pony appeared - I’m not so sceptical now am I?

All that Jesus has to arrange now is for Whiplash and I to get off to Spain - she’s successfully bribed the courts to put off her next hearing, but she is singing with her band tonight and the gig/after party needs to end before the 6am flight.

If it works we’re away for a week – so see you later!


  1. I suddenly remembered when Lisa Simpson got a little pony. Fancy these ladies saying prayers for people - how good it must be to have faith.

    Enjoy yourself in Spain. Keep Whiplash out of trouble - and the courts.

  2. (what's Mr Wolf's? - is it a bar or club. I remember bars and clubs - not set foot in one for years though; ah, where has my fun-filled youth gone?)

  3. not fair -

    i prayed and prayed for a chimpanzee like judy on daktari (sp? a safari series in the 60's).

    or have i just missed where the chimp materialized?

  4. Sniff. I want to go to Spain right now. It's so unfair... :) HAVE FUN! (and sangria)

  5. Did the ladies specifically say they were praying to Jesus? Maybe they were witches praying to the dark gods. Or Scientologists praying to Xenu? Seems more likely since your prayer was actually answered. Jesus doesn't have such a good track record in that department.

    Have a great time in Spain!

  6. i miss you already, sugar! have fun!! xoxox

  7. Make Whiplash ride the pony all the way to Spain - that's Destiny.

  8. I never quite got the girl and horse thing. I mean don't you have to get up early and shovel it's mess?

  9. @Emerson - just like tidying up after a bloke.

    You're truly blessed, Lulu. I wish I had your burnt offerings. Enjoy the trip to Spain. Await the reports with glee.

  10. Hope you and Miss Whiplash are now basque-ing is Spain!

  11. Whatever you are up to at the time of my typing this message I just know it is going to be fun and silly

  12. Oh dear... now I've got a mental image of Ms. Whiplash in jodhpurs doing the flamenco.

  13. I bet you've already found the coolest bar with the best looking waiters and have been nibbling on tapas as your every whim is satisfied. Can't wait to see the snaps.

  14. Let the songs begin - dejalo nacer
    Let the music play - ahhhhhhhh...
    Make the voices sing - nace un gran amor. Start the celebration, and shake the foundations from the skies.

    Even now, Miss Whiplash may be putting the 'pain' in Spain'.

  15. there was a news story recently about a woman who was done for keeping a horse in her garage. did you hear about that, Lulu? i bet she was a previous customer of those prayer ladies.

    next time you spot 'em, can you get em to do one for me?

    i'd like:

    hair that always looks as though it came fresh from the salon.
    a neato boyfriend who makes furniture and houses.
    a house in the country.
    a new wardrobe.
    lipgloss that never fades.

    and world peace. of course.

  16. A friend of mine keeps a couple of horses in a garage. On paper, anyway. She couldn't get planning permission for a stable but could for a garage (this rural life...) So she had a garage built that has these two subsections for materials storage and workshopping that look for all the world like stable stalls.

  17. Jésus est simpa ! Il donne du vin à ceux qui ont soif ( the local winos ), des prières à ceux qui ont faim ( image pieuse d'un poney grillé !), et des voyages "en Espagne" !!!!
    Moi...j'ai souhaité avoir une ferrari ! J'ai eue une ferrari ...en kit dans une toute petite boîte :}

    Jesus am simpa ! He gives some wine to those who are thirsty ( the local winos ), prayers with those which are hungry ( holy picture of a roasted pony !) , and of the voyages "in Spain" !!!
    I...I wanted to have a ferrari ! I had a ferrari kit in a very small box :} Cool !!

  18. Of course it's that easy! Why do you suppose all of those people enjoy it so?

    It's awesome turning the creator of the universe into a sort of cosmic bellhop who is at your beck and call!

    Mind you, because you've sent him off finding you a pony, 25000 kids starved to death. Apparently the ultimate being isn't that good at multitasking.

  19. Hello everybody and thanks for all the encouragement, we have indeed found the hottest waiters, coolest bars and after dealing very successfully with filming the ant scientist I have been inspired by Kevin´s, Gadjo´s and xl´s suggestions and have got Whiplash in Basques, Jodhpurs and other things, she´s riding ponies and doing the flamenco and I´m profitting from being let loose with a camera in an exotic location to make a film I hope to make a bob or two out of when I get back.

    Donn - dýou think I´m abusing Jesus´s good nature? In the light of your information that my toast caused the children to starve I feel I should desist from oredering the stuff Ms P wants - sorry sweetheart but you can come to Spain and join in on our movie.

  20. Great to hear from you. I was having withdrawals. Glad you're having fun as usual. Lots of love from me just up the globe a bit. xx

  21. Jesus doesn't provide what we can't handle ergo the toast pony.

  22. Cow is now almost a believer---can the next Toast Image be of a Cow? Then she will truly believe.



  24. Ponies! What a waste. I always pray for a flamethrower, so I can take anything I want.

  25. Crabbers - superbe te voir, un vrai rayon du soleil - comme toujours

    Hello JoeyJoJoJO
    are you still in France you lucky devil?

    bb Jesus doesn't provide what we can't handle ergo the toast pony.
    I guess you've got a point

    Mrs Cow - I've decided to stop asking for animals.

    Great image - as always Ellis

    Kevin - Ellis is a constant source of wonder and invention.

    BTW your stable mate clearly understands how to get round the local authorities - have you been coaching her?

    Red-handed - see I wouldn't have thought of that!


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