Sunday, June 21

Rubbery Cleaners Revisited























In the mornings, on her way in to work, Miss Whiplash brings us excellent coffee from the lesbian café near the office.

These days it's just the two of us in the office - everyone else is away filming. Whiplash spends half her time nagging a television company to cough up long overdue payments and the rest of her time is spent trying to reassure our creditors. I talk about biscuits and help think of ways to raise finance. In the absence of people I have noticed that enormous dust bunnies have been breeding under the desks,  I’m also thinking of ways to brighten our lives a little.

I do the afternoon coffee run. yesterday, three closely shorn women were sitting outside the café arguing about the qualities they’d be looking for in a nude cleaning person, I don’t think I’d like a completely unclothed person cleaning around me but fancy dress could be diverting. I remembered the ad for rubber cleaners that I’d spotted earlier in the year - I’m still a bit confused about who pays who, but it has occurred to me that if I get it the right way round I could kill several birds with one stone.

I kicked myself for not asking the lesbians where their fetish staff come from, but I had noticed that the café advertises communal stitching afternoons (an activity that has flourished in this city while I’ve been away). I decided to join in and see if I could infiltrate their intelligence network.

As it turned out, communal stitching is not attended by the lesbian community, it was full of girls who like kittens and sparkly things - I have returned knowing far more about knitting gonks than I did before - my quest for a cleaner has not advanced.

24 comments:

  1. Miss Whiplash seems well-suited to be beating the financial bushes on behalf of the company.

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  2. Nude cleaning people ... this sounds like those old Ann Landers letters about embarrassing situations where the lady of the house liked to clean in the nude (meter men, et al).

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  3. While no longer in vogue, except for purists, a French polishing rubber will indeed give a wonderful finish.

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  4. XL - we are indeed blessed with Miss Whiplash.

    Hi Red - I used to work for people who liked to be in the nude a lot (they've become famous as the Naked Gardeners in Malmesbury) so I've ceased to find that sort of thing embarrassing

    Bill - I knew you'd know which tool I'd need!

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  5. if we were in the same area, sugar, i would so split the cost of not only cleaners, but miss whiplash! i hate collections! xoxox

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  6. While I’m out shopping for houseboys, shall I pick one up for you?

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  7. Lesbian gonk workshop, whatever next. Is there also a lesbian making a documentary about it? (That's a Danish joke, probably culturally specific).

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  8. we hate collections too Sav !



    I've consulted with the Whiplash and we'd like two of the least hairy ones please MJ



    Worse Gadjo it's a non-lesbian gonk workshop, but yes - there is a German making a documentary about it

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  9. I remember gonks. I used to have one stuck on the end of my pencil - not a euphemism btw. It wasn't knitted though.

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  10. I'm not sure if they're actually called 'gonks' any more, but there is a proliferation of stuffed knitted creatures sprouting from the hands of young people around here. They make little ones to perch on their computers!

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  11. eeeeuuuw. How many young minds were harmed in the making of nasty fluffy gonks?

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  12. Crikey, I read that as 'clean rubbers'... I need a nap...
    Sx

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  13. There is an obvious comment about these ladies liking kittens, but I am too respectable to mention it.

    I have purchased a new pair of rubber gloves. With a complete outfit, I could be in business. Quite what business is beyond me.

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  14. Frankie - How many damaged children? -Heaven only knows

    Scarlet - Judging by your recent activity with the Italian I'd say so!

    Madame DeFarge
    I have purchased a new pair of rubber gloves. With a complete outfit, I could be in business

    There's a job for you right here right now!

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  15. It is not necessary to trust the appearances!!

    Some years ago, in the adolescence carelessness, taking a walk me to the Wood of Boulogne ...the Acacia were in flowers, some pinsons looked for pitance,
    I saw a sympathetic tree frog... Brief! there was a method parade very can clothed, less this I believed! In fact the girls had a voice engraves!??

    Since I never is put back the feet :(

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  16. Crabbers - If you will go wandering in the Bois de Boulogne what can you expect?

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  17. What in the name of tarnation is going on? I'm offline for but a week and there's all this new blog design and youtube videos.

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  18. All the lesbians in my life like fluffy kittens and sparkly things. Must be something in the water...

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  19. Haha. Nice post. And I like the new look of your blog, too. Nothing better than a bit of malplaced nudity to cheer me up!

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  20. Emerson - If you will go off and have a life, what else can you expect?


    Kevin - What sort of water do you serve - is it laced?

    Mrs Mum - malplaced nudity would cheer anyone up.x

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  21. One of the problems that I forsee with nekkid employees is that most of the folks who should be seen Nudey Toodey, and would be appreciated by all, are reluctant to comply...
    that being said the "others" who should never ever EVER be seen au natural under any circumstances are all too happy to display their wares at the drop of a hat.

    Unless of course you invoke the Right to apply the miracle of alcohol. Ach what do I know, atleast I didn't make any vacuuming jokes.

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  22. Are you referring to'Beer Goggles' Donn?

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  23. There is !! Daphné ,one there uses the cocktails to the hydromel !! comment dit-on hydromel ? Zut! j'ai pas mon dico ? P't'être mead ?

    I was so bad !? Lulu ,

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  24. No Crabbers - you're never bad, a little too much mead perhaps...

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