Tuesday, November 10

Putting The House In Order

The production office personnel is suddenly expanding rapidly, Zena our Swiss warrior-princess has come back to help plan next year’s ant-filming, Whiplash is firmly back in the saddle and the Camera Boy now known as The Pepper King is busy practising his ballroom dancing moves in the kit room.

The filming team will be back here in less than a week bringing trolleyloads of kit and several million terabytes of material that will need organising in short time for an edit that will go on through the winter. It would probably be better if our building is waterproof, it should also be warmer than the outside temperature and there should be lights working in more rooms than just the kitchen.

For years I have been living in a state of denial about the steady deterioration of this house, fixing the kitchen lights last week activated the ancient law that states that 'once one thing is repaired you notice how much else is broken‘ – this is ok because we have discovered Light Man who has the power to mend things and is also extremely attractive! Today he replaced the panes in the sash windows that had cracks taped over with bits of gaffer tape, this necessitated Miss Whiplash holding onto his legs while he applied putty to the outside of upper-floor windows.

More Bad Hair
I have also been in denial about the steady deterioration of my hair and finally took myself for a haircut last week, I tried to visit Laura but her barber shop has shut down. I walked on and into a place that looked like a hairdresser's from the outside, it turned out to be run by boys wearing trousers belted below their underpants. I let one of them do something 'interesting’ with my hair. Then I had to go on further and find another hairdresser, one run by grown-ups who could make me look 'normal’ again, my hair is now several inches shorter but I no longer look as though I have escaped from an asylum - this is important because I am cooking for a new client tomorrow...


  1. Surely, amongst the millions of terabytes there are "interesting hair" and "normal hair" photos for us to see?

  2. what xl said, sugar! my very thoughts! xoxox

    Oh Hai xl!

  3. So the long plait is no more then? My best friend here is a Columbian chap who wears his trousers belted below his underpants - he's a wonderment to all.

  4. I'm about ready to go to a belt below underpants hairdresser. Rural France is far too normal! Good luck with the cook-off! i'm with comments number one and two by the way ;-)

  5. My younger son wears his pants so low that I swear the only thing keeping them up is his cock. It's a miracle of hydraulic engineering

  6. Your office parties look like incredible fun. And how do I get an attractive Light Man for my workplace?! Sounds as if you could keep him busy for a long time (with your poorly-lit office, I mean...). ;-)

  7. I've been practicing wearing my trousers belted below my underpants since reading your post and I must have misunderstood something basic, it hurts in an important place and I keep tripping over.

  8. When I think about your house I imagine a rambling Victorian pile in a lovely turning. In every room an arty type will be doing something creative, African tribal music will be blaring over the sound system that is wired throughout the house and the smell from the kitchen of dishes you are experimenting with will be the best smells in the world.

    Am I even close?

  9. xl and Sav surely there are "interesting hair" and "normal hair" photos
    Like every woman I am never happy with my hair and hate all photos of myself.

    Gadjo - the long plait is replaced by the short stubby plait and lots of hair pins.

    Ange - French hairdressers strike the fear of God through my heart - wherever they've put their trousers

    Nursey - I assume that your boy is permanently aroused.

  10. Ana shhh... they are not office parties they are Team-building Events

    Light Man is rather in demand - Whiplash is now getting him to see her privately - I have had a string of totally useless un-handy men through my doors.

    Inky - I think you had better consult Nurse Myra's son on this subject, I think this style must be great practice for the sack race but probably doesn't work well for running up stairs.

    Frenchie - I so love this description that I don't want to disabuse you of any of it.It is Victorian but in a very urban area - i.e not leafy. It does smell quite nice once you're inside the house though - unless I've been doing cabbage and beans.

    I might start posting a series called something like, 'Scenes From the Throbbing Hub of Creativity' so you can see how ghastly we really are.

  11. ...sneaks in with another vote for gratuitous hair shots...
    And are the ants going to learn to dance?

  12. i like the sounds of this LightMan, goodness knows what other tasks you could have him complete? my mind is racing.

    a new client, huh?
    can you write a post about it?
    what are you going to be cooking?

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  14. Scarlet - we have decided that it is compulsory for all team members to have dancing lessons - even the ants!

    Ms P - Every needs a Light Man, we are keeping him busy.

    Not sure if I can write about my cooking clients - we'll see

  15. Sorry about your locks. Personally,I like women who wear their hair short.

  16. BB - I like women who wear their hair short too but mine looks better longer!


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