Sunday, August 22

Castles In The Air

This year the number of people working in the house where I live has doubled and just as I was about to burst with the claustrophobia of it all - we discovered that the company was solvent enough to get a home of it’s own.

I went on the hunt for suitable premises, before setting off I asked Miss Whiplash, The Director and the Camera Boys what they felt would constitute the perfect place to work - then I made a drawing which I presented to various estate agents and held up against properties on my morning walks.

additional desirable features would include;
• it being no more than 200 metres from where we are now
• it should have a dungeon
• it should have a bar
• a boy should be able to run a zip wire between his bedroom window and the office window
• bacon sandwiches
• uniformed cleaning men
• plants
• a tea lady
• regular cake
• a decent printer
• windows and doors

I have found the nearly perfect place (we had to concede one or two wishes).


  1. I hope that the dungeon and zip wire feature were not compromised!

  2. We are looking for a new place, too. I might copy your idea and come up with a drawing to show to the lovely estate agents. They always seem to be happy about clients with clear wishes and own ideas. Not.

  3. With the exception of the lovely warm moat (ours is cold and wet and full of buses), your diagram is a pretty good representation of our current workplace. The library proper is up in the attic and we have a lovely dungeon office with a view out of people falling under motor vehicles.

    A bar would make a lot of sense.

  4. I have a moat AND a dungeon.

    And of course plenty of houseboys and CAKE.

    Is that cheese rolling you're engaged in on that hill?

  5. I.LOVE.IT. cna i come live/work with all y'all? xoxoxoxox

  6. Can I be your tea lady?

  7. Would you like the phone number for I. M. Pei?

  8. So you compromised on windows and doors?

  9. You really don't want uniformed cleaning men, you'll never feel worthy of them and will spend all your time tidying up before they arrive.

    Now a naked houseboy or two, that's different.

  10. xl - it only has a dungeon and a zip wire

    Met Mum - Estate agents have given me a lot of comedy moments this year

    Kevin A bar is essential we will have to have one put in the dungeon

    MJ - giant mechanical cheeses are rolling us

    sav - yes you can darlin'and you'll really love it because Rebecca will serve us tea and poetry wearing macabre vegetable outfits

    Will - yes please

    Mrs fly - just not necessary in the modern world

    Inky - you underestimate the effect of a uniform on Whiplash.

  11. I can't *believe* that you wouldn't ask for trap doors. Or at least a bloody pit of some kind. Jesus!

  12. Great Post!!!!!
    I’m searching for a witty retort, but you’ve hornswoggled me with your creativity. Well done!

    All the best, Boonie

  13. I hope you didn't compromise on cake

  14. Nice to read that the separation of home and office is underway. I think some of your criteria would make for some lovely office-warming gifts. Hint hint people!

    I'll have to check FedEx's policy on uniformed cleaning men.

  15. No tree house in the back? Escape hatch? Catapults? Curly slides out the windows? House masseuse? Disco ball (but no disco music)? Complimentary robes? Jungle gym? On site concierge? Michael Jordan poster? Catwalk? Barn doors? Periscope? Talking rooster (cuz cock-a-doodle-doing is irritating at sunrise)?

  16. And no moat full of boiling treacle?? I expect the average estate agent would be able to show you a two-up-two-down maisonette which they'd claim fitted your criteria perfectly.

  17. Sorry to have been out of your loop for so long. At last we are in the same country as each other. Maybe we'll get to meet in the next ten years - even if I have to find a horse to charge in on across the drawbridge.

  18. Mr Red - The only pit we need is a 'cake pit' and we can make that ourselves

    Boonie hornswoggled
    *makes note to insert this in next converation*

    Nursey _ see note to Red

    Kat - we will throw an office-warming party and see what gifts are brought

    Wow, - I love the sound of your office - maybe we could do a holiday swap

    Gadjo - I can't decide whether to bore on about agents or not - hmm boiling oil, there's a thought

    Frenchie - lovely to see you again and even more so if it happens in the flesh


Related Posts with Thumbnails