Tuesday, August 18

Full House

Everyone is here; Miss Whiplash swept back from her Scottish sailing holiday, the film crew returned ready roasted from Arizona, there's a New Boy. And the kit is also back.

I live in the same house as the production company and it’s suddenly very crowded here. I have just got some ply cut to fit over the bed in the spare room to make more space to unpack, clean and repack the cases (ready for next week's trip), my other jobs include getting cross with insurance companies, transcribing the interviews done with the scientists, chasing people for receipts ... and buying food.

The food thing is mainly because Barney the Tall Teenager is also back. Last month he started digitising a pile of tapes that needed processing, a job he started with gusto, but then he got bored and petered out.

I’ve finally caught up with him and twisted his arm with an extra bribe of limitless nice food and a financial bonus if he gets the job done by Wednesday. He has taken me at my word - the first thing he does when he arrives in the morning is check out the fridge and get breakfast. Today already he has consumed some yogurts, 2 boxes of cream cakes and a plateful of pasta, sausages and peppers that would have fed an army.

In order to get the job done in time I want him to work on this evening, so that means more cakes, and a promise of cow pie if he’s still here at 8.


  1. Is the cow pie an incentive or a punishment?

    Glad Barney is helping you out, but he might be eating you out of house and home.

  2. Would Cow pie motivate those who are NOT cows?

    Topiary swaying gently in the breeze, puts in a vote for the cream cakes and yogurt...and hopes your project is quickly done for you!


  3. Does cow pie have a different meaning than what it means in cow country USA?

  4. I like the idea of a pie containing a cow. Like those cakes girls jump out of at mob parties. Only...with a cow. In a pie.

  5. If any of the crew goes to Texas, please tell them not to order cow pie.

  6. If you women aren't tantalizing us men with your assets, it's with food and cow pies!

  7. Transcription? Oh, my. You have my deepest sympathies.

    My long lost American cousin, (also a lanky teenage boy), came over for Christmas one year. He only got up for bacon. My mother spent a week crisping bacon. It took several weeks to get the crispypig smell out of the curtains.

  8. mmm cow pie. isnt that Desperate Dan's fave meal?

    so WHAT exactly does cow pie mean in texas? must go look it up.

    Is it like the difference between "fanny" in the UK and USA?

  9. oh! ok...big cow poos. should've guessed....

  10. Oh that would be my dream - to be tall and thin and eat anything I wanted all day long and never gain an ounce.

    What's cow pie?

  11. p.s. -I've just fallen on the floor at the answer to my question on the previous post. I didn't even guess it - how dumb am I?

    I feel priveleged to count you as a bloggy friend. Jeez - could you do some great name dropping posts!

  12. Dedene - cow pie is supposed to be an incentive - and it worked, he woofed up my 'steak pie' after putting in an 11-hr day - I've told him that if he's in by 8am there'll be a Full English on the breakfast table.

    Men and their stomachs - so easy!

    Sorry Mrs Cow, I realise this might be a painful topic - but at least he's not eating hedges

    Bill - Yeah, what you call pie we call pancake

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  14. Vegetable Assassin - Cow out of a cake - that would be so much better than a naked girl!!!

    xl - If any of the crew goes to Texas, please tell them not to order cow pie.

    OK, should we get that chicken fried steak weirdness then?

    Wow - Yes we are that cunning!

    Glory - My mother spent a week crisping bacon. It took several weeks to get the crispy pig smell out of the curtains.

    Sometimes its the only way to get them out of bed.

    Screamish - I guess Texans can't tell the difference between a pie and a pat

    Frenchie - Skinny yet eat as much rubbish as will go in your face - it is the only compensation for being a teenager

    p.s. -I've just fallen on the floor at the answer to my question on the previous post ... could you do some great name dropping posts!

    sorry it becomes irresistable - but I might have to post about a related episode when things get dull in the office again.

  15. I shouldn't be hungry, but I am. I haven't had a good steak pie in years... now I'm drooling and thinking about gravy.
    Well, I was until I thought about the US meaning of cow pie.

  16. Whoa there, did Miss Whiplash go to the Hebrides? Maybe use a charter company? I'm really interested in sailing Scotland, did she say if it was great?

  17. Did someone mention cake?

  18. wow, barney can really eat!
    are you sure that offering him free food was really an incentive to work quickly?
    wouldn't he just go slower
    so that the free food lasts longer?

  19. never apologise -I think it's great.

  20. Is Barney a very fat as well as a very tall teenager?? He sounds like a bit of a git, requiring all the food in the fridge before he'll do a day's work, but then most of us probably were gits too at that age if we did but know it.

  21. Scarlet - the US meaning of cow pie certainly makes it less attractive.

    Eric - Not a charter company, but she is looking splendid, I think it was great.

    MJ - yes, but the rest of us aren't getting near it.

    the projectivist - He really can eat but I think that's normal for teenage boys, and cake actually makes him faster.

    Ok Frenchie I will get over my blushes

    Gadjo - Barney is skinny and fidgetty, the food was my scheme - his usual food routine is to breakfast on a packet of crisps then loads of coffee and biscuits over the course of the day ending with beer and MacDonalds. He's just a normal sort of teenager really

  22. I'd help you if you offered to cook for me. I'm a strong advocate of free cupboard love. Hope all is well.

  23. Good luck with the insurance companies, they have people trained to seem incredibly nice charming and concerned while giving nothing away, not even information. [Rant about brother's accident omitted.]

    (Lulu, read your email.)

  24. Mme Def - you would be soooo much more useful than a teenge boy - please come! Quick!

    Inky - Insurance companies an ongoing thon in our collective side *big sigh*

  25. cow pies, cow pats and also, "meadow muffins"...


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