Thursday, August 27

Naked Ambition

Whiplash is doing Community Service today and there’s no cake left. In the lull I find myself once again checking the small ads. Today’s favourite is this one for a Receptionist/PA
(must be over 18) Need a receptionist/Personal assistant for our successful company but must be a hit with management and clients. Must be a flirty bubbling character very open minded.

Are you prepared to do anything for progression. can you work in the nude in a naked office environment?

If your that person get in touch

One might think that this is for employment in a common-or-garden House of Ill Repute and although the syntax does seem to point that way, I'm considering whether this might be the start of a general trend towards nudism in the workplace - or maybe one of my ex-employers is doing a recruitment drive:

I once had a job at an architect’s office, cooking lunches for a sexy beast called Ian Pollard and his staff. Ian was terribly enthusiastic about nudity at work, he had more nudie pics on the walls than you could shake a stick at, his wife and his PA wore very few clothes indeed. Ian himself didn’t like to be too naked at work, we frequently entertained Stalwarts of Industry and he wouldn’t have wanted them to have felt overdressed, and the risk of injury from spitting chip fat compelled me to stay fully covered.

Mr Pollard gave up the architectry soon after I stopped working for him and followed his true vocation: getting on telly as a naked gardener, I’m wondering, if that’s him advertising for a new PA.

Update: I quite like the Sun's take on this too.


  1. A wormhole is now connecting Earwig Sandwich and Infomaniac!

  2. I love how you write. I think I'd go sockless for you in the workplace.

  3. Nudity is the new black, darling. I'd be a bit shy though. I mean I have very expressive nipples. They're bad enough IN clothes. If left to their own devices, I'm not sure they'd survive the joys of freedom. They'd be knocking my pen holder over.

  4. Actually I am looking for a part time job, and I hate uniforms. So could this be my saviour? Am just a bit irritated by the 'Are you prepared to do anything for progression' requirement. What exactly is meant by anything???

  5. Guess there's no "Equal Opportunity Employment" laws where you're at?

    Here if you discriminate on age, sex, etc., you invite a lawsuit.

    Can you imagine if they had to hire a 60+ secretary, and had her sitting nude....or him...

    Oh dear. There might be more than fingers hitting the keyboard, is all.


  6. Hmmm, naked gardening.... tempted. Seeing people of a certain age with no kit on makes me come over all Lucian Freud. However, one might have to put up with their endless burbling about how liberating and natural and primal it all was, etc.

  7. *** warning *** no-one should click on MJ's links unless they are prepared to be scarred for life.

    xl - That's a frightening thought now...

    Wow - Thank you - you'd fit right in.

    Ms Assassin - I'm sure you could put that talent to good use.

    MJ - I should've known!

    Met mum - it might have something to do with sex ... or maybe it's just being prepared to make a lot of coffee

    Mrs Cow - we do have EO the ad only specifies over 18 and not whether male or female, my dad could go for it if he wanted - he's great fun!

    Gadj - would you be out on the lawn painting the gardeners, or would they have to come in and recline clutching secateurs?

  8. Nude at work one day, then give it a few weeks and there'll be all sorts of horseplay going on.

    Although I think I'd just be cold most of the time.

  9. Anything for progression? Hmm, depends on the progression. Geometric yes, arithmetic no.

    (Assassin, that's boasting. And anyway I'm not sure I believe you. Who has a pen-holder these days?)

  10. somehow i got lost in the daily mail, sugar! *laughing@me* that stuff is addictive! re nekkid gardening: NO. xoxxo

  11. Nude offices seem to be the new vogue for the people who used to go into for holistic situational analysis team-building workshops. Our workplace is Hell enough as it is.

    The Pollards featured in "Amateur Gardening" again the other week btw.

  12. I just couldn't do a naked office. I would have nowhere to put my Mont Blanc.

  13. Emerson - a few weeks!

    Inky - what's wrong with arithmetic progression then?

    Sav - I'd be nervous around the rose garden.

    Kev - Nudity would liven up the library no end.

    Mme D - You could fashion a pendant pen holder - you'd love it!

  14. Geometric gets bigger quicker Lulu.

  15. I'd love to see your CV - I bet it is fascinating.

  16. So - you're keen on speed then Mr Inkspot?

    my cv? - Frenchie - people think I make it all up

  17. I see way too much nudity at the gimcrack..... prolapses ain't pretty


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