Tuesday, January 14

Burglars vs Neighbours

My friends have gone on holiday and I am guarding their house - any burglars will have to fight me before making off with the Val Doonican record collection. This is a relief from having to be at my own house fighting burglars wanting to steal the submarine propeller that I foolishly told the world about last weekend.

The novelty of someone else's home - how long it takes to find a bottle opener/saucepan/spoon and of course I fingered all their lovely things - occupied me for the first couple of days but as I got settled in I became increasingly aware of the closeness of the neighbours; initially I just noticed the tantrums and door slams but then I could hear sneezes, conversations, door clicks ever more clearly.

Last night I went to bed and sleep and woke with a start and ran to the kitchen sure that I must've left the oven on because I smelt burning but I hadn't and then back to bed I smelt that smell even stronger as though the walls had dissolved and I had actually moved in with the people next door.

4 comments:

  1. I'm thinking this is an excellent marketing opportunity to offer your cleaning and/or cooking services to the neighbors!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They tell me that they enjoy burning heir own food thank you very much

      Delete
  2. Mid terrace? Me and my neighbour used to do our washing up together; I could hear her sloshing dishes about as I dried up my crockery. I got rather paranoid and would whisper during heated arguments. I moved.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, mid-terrace, I think they can hear me thinking

      Delete

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