Sunday, April 27

Train Theatre

I missed my first choice of train to Stafford due to leaving home without a wallet but got on the next one and listened in to the phone conversation of a man in the seat across from me

get two nice fillets of hake

yeah skin on's fine

will we have to sign in or anything?

I'd like to see the kitchen first

anyway it'll be good to meet you love - bye!

Two women discussed the effect of the menopause

I can't make my mouth say the right thing anymore, I went to the butcher for smoked bacon and asked for half a pound of smacked bottom, he said 'Sorry love we'll not have any more of that til after Easter'

By the time we got to Birmingham it was goinghometime everywhere and people were choccabloc in the aisles.  Pam Ayres* was operating the snack trolley I know that because her voice came over the intercom

A static refreshment facility is operating at the extreme front of the train

I've got lollies and mars bars, sandwiches, cheeses, I've got coffees columbian, cakes, teas, chocolate and biscuits. I've got sevenup, orange juice, coke and angus jumbo burgers. I've got buns and butter, peanuts and maltesers and if you can make your way here I will be delighted to see you

* to hear Pam


  1. Two fillets of unskinned hake.
    In the cauldron boil and bake;
    Lollies, mars bars and maltesers,
    Angus jumbo burgers and cheeses,
    Peanuts, teas, buns and butter,
    Coffee Colombian if you'd rather,
    Seven-Up, orange juice and Coke,
    Chocolate and biscuits for dunnest smoke.
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
    Double, double, toil and trouble;
    Fire burn and cauldron bubble.


  2. That first conversation is odd... like they'd never met before?! Most people say 'be nice to see you' if they've met before...??? Maybe he's a chef or something...?
    Ack... I need the rest of this short story... it doesn't take a lot to hook me does it?!

    1. I wanted to slide over next to him and interrogate him on these very questions


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