Friday, April 24

Elephants In The Room

24th April

The email in the previous post is probably connected to my attempt to introduce our Production Manager to village society before I left her there to fend for herself.

Soon after she arrived in France, I took Miss Whiplash to the village yoga class. I am a good head higher than the tallest woman in the village, we have all got used to me being the village giant, when I brought along a new classmate who stands head and shoulders above me.

Miss W tried her best to mingle but the local accent is strong, her French didn’t work and she and the villagers found each other mutually unintelligible, so although the class were impressed by her height and leopard skin leotard, everyone became too embarrassed by this failure to communicate and soon got on with their business as though she weren’t there (there is always a half hour of gossip before the class starts). Miss W spent the evening with a grin clamped on her face to prove that she is basically friendly, but being ignored makes one feel invisible.

I am currently obsessed with the idea of invisibility/visibility partly because I have taken a couple of weeks away from the insect filming to do a job in an Arabic country. I am transfixed by the way the Arabs float around in their flowing robes while the western visitors walk among them looking like raw sausages.

There are plenty of muslim women with their faces completely uncovered and they easily make eye contact with me but the ladies who peep out through a letter box in their face coverings and the ones who are completely covered behave as though they are invisible. What I hadn’t realised was how different these garments can be, there is an abaya shop close to where I am staying, in the window are styles cut in different ways, decorated with pearls, diamante and embroidery, I was particularly struck by a pleated and diamante-studded abaya that clearly inspired the Darleks. Outside this shop swings a large sign with a painted image of a woman wearing a black abaya, her hands and face originally in the painting are now covered over by three crude blocks of black paint

*no time to do a fancy image today, that one’s straight out of the tin from Crazy Spandex Girls


  1. If you befriend the local women I should imagine they'll soon be conveying marriage proposals from their male relatives. One person I would very much like to see get a marriage proposal is Miss Whiplash. It's a pity she couldn't have gone there with you. (I know where you are thanks to sitemeter!)

  2. Whereabouts are you Lozza?

    Can't say I'm much good at Yoga and my only experience of an Arab country is Morocco.

    I was on the top bunk of a sleeper carriage and a large Arab chap who'd undressed to his underwear asked if I like men's bums.

    The next 6 hours train journey did not fly by.

  3. Sometimes I think I turn invisible. There will be a few days when people will walk right into me like I'm not there. Then it's OK for a while again.

  4. I do think those long robes are a boon to the larger lady though - I could carry on eating if I didn't have to worry about the waistband on my jeans bursting. And I could practice my 'come hither' look out of the letterbox gap.

    You do seem to do a lot of interesting things - actually strike out the 'seem' - you most certainly do!

  5. Wow, even women's hands on signs must be covered up...

    thanks for the glimpse of this far away country...


  6. Note that I am covering my private bits with a bottle of Jamesons.

    Oh Hai XL! I almost didn't see you as you're invisible.

  7. Mr Bananas - would you like to offer a marriage proposal to Miss Whiplash?

    Mr Marky Boy - I am in a country so strict that they come round and chop the index fingers of all the people I reveal my whereabouts to.

    I've read your yoga post and thought it very funny

    Mr L - I think everyone goes invisible at some time in their lives. For some peope it's their entire life

    Ms Fancie - those long robes are a boon to everyone, I'm thinking of making it mandatory worldwide when I become Queen

    Hello Mrs Cow - nice to meet you.

    Ms MJ - covering my private bits with a bottle of Jamesons.

    That's all right then...

  8. I went to the MJ site out of curiousity and wow! I like to hide behind sunglasses. Maybe because I find putting on make up to be too time consuming these days. What use to take a mere 10 seconds now takes lots of good light and a magnifing mirror. I like sunglasses a lot.

  9. I hope you will tell us what you are up to in this Arab country, maybe when you can voyage freely again around the internet. You know, it just sort of dawned on me that your life is fabulously exotic.

  10. I now want a leopard skin leotard. Somehow it just seems like me. Being a somewhat translucent 40 something, I'd like to think that there's till something that I can offer the world by way of light entertainment and this may do the trick.

    An abaya would at least stop me moaning about the wind destroying my carefully coiffed hair.

  11. Coincidentally, I'm also currently obsessed with the idea of invisibility. I'm invisible at work. Nobody there has the slightest intention of acknowledging my existence or engaging in conversation with me. Frankly I want to come in one morning stark naked and waving a Kalshnikov. Nobody would take a blind bit of notice; also, I could also then kill them all and just walk away. (Never mind, Gadjo, it's the weekend now, buck up).

  12. oh what a glamorous life you lead, Lulu! are you playing hostess out there? perhaps singing in a karaoke club, wearing nothing but glittery nipple tassels.

    i can see it all now.

    what's your best song tips-wise?
    I Kissed a Girl?

  13. I am about to take up a yoga class. I can only hope that at some point in the near future I can emulate the lady in the picture whilst wearing a leopardskin leotard. However, as Madame DeFarge points out, Im not sure it will go with someone who has transparent skin. Perhaps I should invest in leopardskin robes instead...?

    OMG... My word verification is 'arsie'

  14. alphawoman - I tried to warn you, I'm with you on sunglasses but I can't get any big enough to hide my bum.

    KSV - telling you about this trip would involve terrible digressions and indiscretions - so I can't sorry

    Obviously I want to you to believe that my life is fabulously exotic, which I why I don't go on too much about how much time I spend dealing with plumbers and telecoms 'customer service' people and getting nasty stuff out of drains...

  15. Madame D - Go and buy a leopard skin leotard NOW - we want pictures - or at least an account of how the office reacted

    Gadj - I am precribing the same solution as I did to Madame Defarge - get thee to the leotard shop

    Ms Projectivist
    singing in a karaoke club, wearing nothing but glittery nipple tassels.I am discovered - I also have a banjo and do George Formby impersonations

    Mrs Cake - leopardskin robes would be very fetching - remember to post the photos

  16. Err, thanks for the advice, Lulu. I fear my leopard-skin leotard-wearing dyas are behind me, but I suppose it doesn't really matter what I've got on while I've got that Kalashnikov with me...

  17. Gadjo - do I understand correctly - your days of walking naked into the office are not dead but you wouldn't be seen dead in a leopardskin leotard?

  18. Is Miss Whiplash Mrs P in disguise???
    ...Then again Mrs P isn't tall...

  19. I was just having a Bad Day, Lulu, don't worry. The emphasis was on the extermination of my co-workers, what I would be wearing (if anything at all) was really of secondary importance.

  20. Scarlet

    Is Miss Whiplash Mrs P in disguise???

    Some people are mistresses of disguise, tell me does Mrs P have pierced nipples and tattoos depicting Pinky and Perky on her bottom?

    Gadj - sorry to hear you're having bad days at work - however I do feel that one should dress appropriately for every occassion.


Related Posts with Thumbnails