Thursday, April 30

French Farce

1st May
I’m not readjusting well to being back. Yesterday morning, I completely forgot that I was supposed to be collecting Spider Man* from the station, he called to see where I was just as I’d started washing my hair in the shower, so I had to do all that cartoony hopping around with an arm in one sleeve while trying to get my shoes and pants on at the same time and soaking myself with my own hair.

I was still trying to get an arm through the other sleeve and do my zip while backing the car out of the drive and I failed to put a mobile phone in my bag. Spider Man meanwhile had decided to get on another train, I arrived at a deserted station and then had to work out where to get a phone card and the matching call box to find out where he’d got to.

We have recently acquired an old blue Laguna that used to belong to the police (gendarmes), while I was running around after Spider Man it ran low on diesel so I stopped at an unmanned fuel station - I hadn’t refuelled this car before. I'd spent a full half hour hunting for a release button to open the petrol flap by the time a passing gendarme found me frothing at the mouth trying to forcibly prise the wretched thing off with my finger tips, he kept his distance and pointed out that I had to turn off the central locking to get at the petrol tank.

*Spider Man comes and stays for a few days now and then while he logs our material, he is French and unnaturally fond of spiders


  1. Those fuel doors can be tricky!

    I had a car with no external fuel door. The filler cap was diabolically hidden behind a swing-down tail light. The latch was disguised as a chrome trim piece!

    Oh Hai Miss Scarlet!

  2. So there actually was a Cop there when you needed one!

    Who knew?

  3. Look at what that bloody Google Chrome did to my moniker..&*#%@!

    wv is shables..honest

  4. Is your actually blue with the word "Gendarmerie" painted on the side of it?? Please say it is (even if it isn't).

  5. I had a similar incident many years ago in a hired Ford Focus. After 2 hours driving I reached my destination only to find myself unable to find reverse.

    A flower bed bore the brunt of a big U turn.

  6. Scarlet One of my better ones

    Those fuel doors can be tricky!
    You're a car fiend arent you? and would know all about these devilish contraptions

    Donn Not only a cop - but the right kind.

    How are your 'shables' today?

    Gadj My car looks exactly like a gendarme vehicle and even has a knob on the roof where I will attach a flashing light - it's brilliant, I'm not getting cut up at the lights any more and everything slows respectfully when I'm on the road.

    Emmerz Was the flower bed one of those municipal ones - like in Hyde Park?

  7. What is Donn's new moniker?

    I don't geddit.

  8. bloody blogger - i left a remark and then it disappeared.

    Well, obviously, I will never recapture the gloriousness of my first remark - it was along the lines of blah blah blah


  9. Yes it was, LL. Although it wasn't quite as exciting as Hyde Park. It was in Banbury. Habe you ever been to Banbury, LL? You should. They've got a railway station and everything.

  10. I despise not knowing how to turn on windshield wipers or where the light switch is located. my husband thinks you should be born knowing these things!!

  11. MJ Donn's new moniker is too rude and has to be in code

    Hello Frenchie

  12. Marky I've only ever driven around Banbury on my way to Winslow - A station you say, I shall have to make a proper visit

    Alphawoman There's always one bit of a new car I can't lay my hands on

  13. You appear to be washing rather frequently. Is this as a consequence of receiving the 'Sexy Blog' award?

    This policeman sounds very helpful. Are you sure he hadn't bought the uniform from a charity shop?

  14. Madame DeF it's more to do with the cockroaches but I think I'll raising washing frequency to once a week from now on.

    Hmmm, now you mention it this 'gendarme' was wearing a cape and kepi which I though was a little archaic. There was a carneval going on...

  15. how exciting, sugar! ;) xoxox

  16. What an awful tense experience - reminds me of that Clockwise film starring John Cleese. I came out of that one feeling the need for half a bottle of Valium.

  17. hahaha!! Sorry, but I was picturing you trying to pry the gas talk cap off manually! That policeman was right to keep a safe distance!!

  18. Yikes, he likes spiders? Is his real name Renfield?

  19. Sav - at the time it was exciting in a bad way...

    Kaz - I did feel all lumbering and stupid in a John Cleesey way

    Roshni - That policeman was right to keep a safe distance!! Darn right he was - his mother probably said 'never approach a suspected rabies case'

    Pru- I'm guessing Renfield is one of your spider-loving boy friends - or does he do the act with you at Classy Eric's?


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