Monday, April 13

Rain Stops Play

14th April
Due to all the hymenopteran emergencies and the pressing need to film Spring, we’ve not been down to the bar for a while, but this weekend I lobbied successfully for a day off.

A pétanque tournament was scheduled at the village bar for Saturday. Shane the new landlord has been pushing a roller over the gravel courts and tanning his smooth, oiled torso. There was going to be a barbeque and proper official referees - the evening was bound to end in an excellent party.

Nothing went to plan, by midday on Saturday the rain was steady and the pétanque match got called off. Miss Whiplash was struck down by the plague and took to her bed, we had to go to the bar without her.

Shane’s friend Zizi* has finally arrived, he’s lovely and gossipy with a great line in tight sparkly t-shirts. He put lots of Abba and Aretha Franklin on the cd player for us to sing along to, he’s like an anti-Shane.

*Shane’s mother owns the bar and has left her son in charge but he has no driving license. Shane will be running the bar with Zizi who does drive. Worried that people might think he or Zizi are gay, Shane is pedalling his heterosexuality vigorously using a product known locally as Lad Guff.


  1. Shane/Anti-Shane. There's a veritable Hegelian dialectic going on in that Cafe of yours!

  2. So Shane has a close gay buddy without being gay himself? That's very liberal minded of him. I think he should be allowed to snog a woman in public. Who will volunteer to be snogged by Shane?

  3. Oh, I love Zizi already! It sounds like he'll provide an excellent soundtrack for a hot fun summer.

  4. The best thing about the game called off because of the rain is that it doesn't rain in the bar (unless the roof leaks.)

  5. Gadjo Dilo - a veritable Hegelian dialectic going on .
    I love that idea, I'm starting my dissertation tonight.

    Gorilla Who will volunteer to be snogged by Shane?We all tease shane by going for the traditional kissy greeting they do here - it's like watching a child faced with a series of smelly aunties
    katrocket - Zizi bought F.U.N back to the place

    bb - that's right - so we still got the party!

  6. Speedy recovery wishes to Miss Whiplash!

  7. The wv is 'copelad' - which might be the watchword for Shane. Maybe this is an attempt by Shane to look uber macho by contrast to the (rather more fun sounding) Zizi. I would love to see the Zizi/Whiplash combo. Divine.

  8. XL - wishes passed on - she's looking better already

    Mme Defarge - Miss Whiplash and Zizi did meet - and they were divine

  9. I hope that Miss Whiplash recovers from the plague...she sounds marvelous.

    I love the notion that pedalling one's heterosexuality will somehow suppress the wagging tongues of the local gossips about being totally ghey or at the very least bi-curious. Whatev. Hell, give them something to talk about. The only thing worse than that is NOT being talked about right?

    Zizi will be a ray of sunshine even if it is pouring outside. Wow. This is all going to be transformed into a stageplay isn't it?

  10. Who doesn't love ABBA? There is something in the air that night the stars were bright fernando! Gold.

  11. Oh I wish this bar was in my village. I need a Shane and anti-Shane...

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  13. Donn - we couldn't give tuppence for Shane's personal preference's, but his unlikely stories of adventures with girls make us think
    The lady doth protest too much Do you think this would work on the stage Donn - is it a farce or a soap opera? - maybe it's turning into a musical

    Deidre - just hearing the lyrics transports me back to holiday romances of yore

  14. Scarlet - I'll send the boys round to entertain you. Shane's happy doing anything that develops his muscles

  15. Lad guff, you say? For that I'm afraid there is no antidote.


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