Sunday, March 8

Pussy Galore

8th March
My neighbour in the posh house down the road, Madame Bontette, has some New Best Friends, last night she invited The Director and me to a dinner party so we could meet them. The Director doesn’t like dinner parties so I made his excuses and went alone.

I’d already had a tour of the dining room at Chateau Bontette – a symphony of layered drapes in shades of tangerine and crushed raspberry, coloured glass chandeliers, crazy metal candle holders and statuettes of toga-clad women in extravagant poses. Knowing that Naughty Vera would be there and that Mme B has a taste for leather trousers and slutty shoes, I decided to lift my mood with an outfit that involved shiny crimson stiletto-heeled boots, fishnet tights, a psychedelic mini-dress and big jewellery. The NBFs turned out to be a surly old couple in suits, the hosts and other guests had, bizarrely, also opted for bank manager outfits.

A mutual dislike quickly became apparent between myself and the NBFs and awkward silence broke out, our attention wandered over to Naughty Vera who was flirting heavily with the man seated next to her, food and company disregarded, their chairs were turned 90 degrees from the table towards each other. Suddenly the Bontette’s very fluffy cat jumped up on Vera’s lap and they both set about stroking the animal with increasing fervour.

In another situation I’d have passed comment but in that strained atmosphere I left my mouth open and let M. Bontette launch into an animated dissertation about an asbestos problem at the local school.

18 comments:

  1. Perhaps apocryphal account of a Tonight Show guest with a white Persian cat.

    Zsa Zsa Gabor: Would you like to pet my pussy?

    Johnny Carson: I'd love to. Move the damned cat!

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  2. What an awkward moment...

    I felt uncomfortable reading it...

    :)

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  3. how strange - I left a comment and it's disappeared.

    I think I said how typical it was that someone had beaten me to the pussy joke :)

    You're too soft with that director man of yours - I'd have sulked until due male escortship had been provided.

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  4. All one can do at the time is enjoy the spectacle and tell yourself you'll dine out on it future. I must say, I never thought the French equivalent of "More tea, vicar?" would have to do with asbestos.

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  5. XL - I love Zsa Zsa I hope that did happen

    Hello Sweet Cheeks, Lovely to see you here - The whole evening was most uncomfortable I can tell you

    frenchie - After lifting the Directors head out of the soup a few times or carrying a cattle prod to keep him awake, one inevitably takes the line of least resistance.

    Autolycus - We do indeed have a great story - the French villagers love speculating on Ms Vera's scandalous antics.

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  6. Maybe she had invited them so that they could meet you and realise how dull they really are?

    Or it could have been a fancy dress party.

    I feel sorry for the cat. Caught in a tug of love.

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  7. i was so distracted by the description of the outfit i ignored the rest of the dinner party - except to feel sorry for the cat. can we have an accompanying photograph to go along with the outfits?

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  8. Had I been the cat I would have jumped onto your lap, Lulu.

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  9. "I made his excuses and went alone. ... hiny crimson stiletto-heeled boots, fishnet tights, a psychedelic mini-dress and big jewellery."

    Christ, am I married to you? I mean, great if I am, but wow.

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  10. Madame Defarge - my reply to your query about the ants had disappeared dammit - They are still fine.

    interesting idea about it being a fancy dress party or maybe it was a board/bored meeting

    Deb - I've not allowed that outfit to be captured on camera. The cat was looking a little wrung out, but I think she liked it.

    Inkspot - Are you sort of sharing a house with a lady of similar sartorial taste - but wondering where she gets off to for months at a time?

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  11. Lulu - I am blushing! Love the collage. I bet you looked great in your little skirt and big jewelry.

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  12. oh Lulu!
    i suddenly had an image of you as Jean Shrimpton who, in 1965, caused a furor over her 'above the knee' shift dress on Derby Day here in Australia.

    i bet you looked like an exotic flower amongst the onion patch!

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  13. Is Naughty Vera really that naughty? Sorry, I'm relatively new to this blog!

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  14. Mr Bananas - you'd have to become a cat because I don't think my lap would accommodate a gorilla

    KSV - Well I thought so as I left the house, but you know that moment when you suddenly see yourself through other people's eyes...

    TP - not as tiny as Jean unfortunately

    Gadjo - She is extremely naughty, a brazen hussy disguised as a librarian.

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  15. lovely outfit, sugar! and so wasted at that dinner party! but what great blog material! ;) xoxox

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  16. i've tagged you at my place, if you'd like to play when you get a chance ;) xoxo

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  17. The outfit sounds excellent - better to be known as strange and dangerous than as dull. And if it achieves not getting invited to dinner at the NBFs, it will have earned its keep.

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  18. Hi Savannah - I think the outfit would appeal to someone of your taste, I've run with the tag game - thank you for inviting me


    Brother T - Ooh I've never thought of myself as dangerous - but I like that image

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