Thursday, January 22

Shed Quest


22nd January
Over the winter I have been looking for potting sheds; we need two similar garden sheds for the filming. One to put in the kitchen garden to film exteriors and a larger one that could accommodate lights, cameras and people for the interior shots.

I imagined there’d be plenty of ramshackle sheds knocking around in France that the owners would like to replace with a new one and I started asking around. Scary Eena told me that Mr Potato Head was planning to pull one down at the woodyard, so I went to see him. The shed in question was currently housing two large agricultural vehicles, from what I could tell by the prongs and blades sticking out through the piles of newspapers, rags, pallets and plastic bags.

I realised that although I’d registered that there were sheds in the area, the ones around here were quite particular to the region, some had at least one stone wall and many had tiled roofs.

It wasn’t looking good in France and I’m back in the UK for a visit. Someone has tipped us off about a disused allotment that is sited alongside a motorway and is to be built on. Enquiries were made and we have been given permission to take away as many sheds as we like.

A disused allotment is a melancholy sight, the weedy plots still in neat rows and next to each the lovingly customised shed of it’s former gardener. Most of the sheds on this patch had started off with the same basic form but have branched out as successive incumbents added porches, verandah’s and windows. Some of these places looked as though they’d been lived in and it wasn’t hard to imagine the community that must’ve existed here once, annoying each other with their barbeque parties and letting their lots grow too weedy or planting something invasive.

We found a pair of fairly plain ox-blood red sheds one the bigger brother to the other and made an arrangement to come back at a later date and dismantle them.

23 comments:

  1. Those are sheds? Hell, I could live in one of those things. Do they have internet?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Never mind the sheds - what's it like being back in the UK after so long in your little village? (wish I could think of some shed jokes)

    ReplyDelete
  3. This film you're making requires a lot of effort. Those insects better put on a hell of a show.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's raining sheds hallelujah
    Next you'll be asking the Knights who say ((NI!)) for a shrubbery?

    btw I confirmed your suspicions your query regarding my Bearsuit.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ..and yes English is my second language.
    Merde! Scheiße! and double дерьмо!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are very resouceful! I think you just created a great coffee table book. Sheds from around the world.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Captain Smack nice to see you here - sheds are just house substitutes for some people.

    Ms Frenchie - I'm very fond of the UK and it's nice to see my stuff again.

    Mr Bananas - The insects have promised us their biggest stars

    Donn - I've always loved the idea of havng a shrubbery. Your first language is Classic Stuff and Nonsense presumably

    Wow - I'm afraid someone got there first, there is a very good book in a shop near you called 'Men and Sheds'

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nothing snarky or rhyming today.

    I am curious about the size difference in the sheds. Will that cause continuity, visual scale, other problems for the film?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pardon my ignorance, but what insect is so large that it needs an entire shed as a backdrop? Wouldn't a mock-up made from 6 square inches of balsawood be sufficient?

    ReplyDelete
  10. They'll be calling you 'Two Sheds LaBonne' next. The indoor one could come in useful if water starts pouring through the ceiling again...heaven forfend.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I built a garden shed for my wife a few summers ago. It started out being a simple affair, but grew into something else. My neighbor said it looks like a chapel. All that's missing are the stained glass windows. I think I feel a post coming on.

    ReplyDelete
  12. xl and gadj - the smaller shed will be in the garden I'm creating and will be part of the establishing shots
    'here we are in the garden and look who's eating all the cabbage'

    The larger shed is for filming the insect activity going on inside - you go from a wider shot showing a section of the interior then zoom to the spider's web or whatever.

    Brother T - Its always useful to have altenative accomodation to hand

    bb - I want to read about your chapel/shed

    ReplyDelete
  13. I bet you love mosquitoes as well. Apparently bats eat them - I found that out one day when idly googling 'what on earth is good about mozzies'

    ReplyDelete
  14. I can't bear mozzies, I have an electric tennis bat to deal with them in the house. They're a pain in the neck, ankle, wrist and every other body part, especially at night. That doesn't stop them being fascinating though.

    ReplyDelete
  15. A shed is a peculiarly English concept pertaining to the world of Men. Perhaps Jeremy Clarkson could help you out?

    Why do you have to go to France to film insects? They can't be that much different from British insects. Apart from the sexy accent, of course ...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh I see, you're going to zoom in on them; you could start from the planet Pluto and do the thing properly. Daphne's right about the accent; and the cicadas I heard in Provence where very slightly behind the beat, like Edith Piaf.

    ReplyDelete
  17. what do you mean 'sheds'?!
    they're obviously posh kid's cubby-houses!

    did you ever see that tv show about the English guy living in France?
    an ex-biker (huge, butch-looking guy with a heart of gold) he's renovating his property and he makes everything from reclaimed materials.

    great show.

    he made himself a potting shed one autumn, from old french doors. it had a tiled roof - he explained that you had to do that in France, because the structure had to be able to support a snow-topped roof in the winter months.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Daphne - Ive told podgy Clarkers to stay away, he'll just drive his 4x4 into the lake for a laugh.

    They've got more insects in France ...and more space to film them in... Oh and better weather. The down side to all this is that we are struggling with their accents though, they can't get their lines right

    Gadjo - we've applied for filming permission on Pluto and are waiting for confirmation.

    TP- I didn't see the show but it sounds great, it's Wendy Houses for grown ups really isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Any shed is a good shed but some of the monstrosities they sell at places like bq are cheap nasty softwood boxes.

    ReplyDelete
  20. An Englishman's shed is his castle... plus he's not allowed in the house..
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thud - I'm with you on the flimsy modern contraptions

    Scarlett - you're a hard woman - not even through the back door?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Perhaps he can stand in the porch for a bit until he dries off...
    Sx

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts with Thumbnails