Saturday, April 11

The Arrival Of Miss Whiplash


11th April
The hormonal balance has been restored by the arrival of Miss Whiplash, a lady whose real job is performing by night in selected venues where she sings and shakes her bottom around the stage in a series of exotic catsuits.

As Miss W is very good at sums and she’s taller than the rest of us we asked her to be our grown up which means that two or three times a week she gets up before tea time, puts on her Production Manager’s uniform - consisting mainly of outsize leopard-print sunglasses and thigh boots - and she whips our production into shape by making up schedules and contracts and scaring us about money.

She's come out to France to top up her tan and make sure that we’re all behaving. The boys have to be told off for buying too much Boy Stuff (lenses, hard drives, air guitars...) and I have to promise that we’ll eat nettles twice a week until the next tranche of money arrives from the Big Controller.

Tonight we’re taking Miss W to our village bar – my choice of venue because I’m quite keen to see how long it takes before she pushes Shane’s teeth down his throat.

18 comments:

  1. I wonder how many Frenchmen are going to try and sniff her furry tail. Do you think, deep down, she wants to be dominated?

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  2. Erm... this sounds like a different type of film altogether...?
    Sx

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  3. I worked with a strict accountant once. No cat suits though.

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  4. I can't wait to hear the ale of Miss W at the pub.

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  5. i'm with alphawoman on this one, sugar! bring on the pub story! xoxox

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  6. Miss Whiplash vs. Shane, I'd pay good money to see this. It's on his turf; but she's tall, good at sums and sounds like she may get the crowd on her side.

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  7. Shane would be well advised to get a set of false teeth which he could remove when going to the village bar.

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  9. Gorilla - she is a compelling thing to all men (and women) - Everyone likes a little domination sometimes

    Scarls - It's known as 'shoot-sharing'

    xl - What did this strict accountant do for you then, to sweeten the pill - see-thru suits?

    Hi there Alphawoman and Savannah - She'd better perform, I want her to show off her ping pong ball trick.

    Gadjo - I'm wondering whether to bring the paddling pool and fill it with jelly

    MJ - Shane would be well advised to get a set of false teeth which he could remove when going to the village bar

    Shane runs the village bar, but I think he'd like a set of false teeth, he'd go for those metal gnashers like the Bond villain

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  10. Ooo Miss Whiplash sounds awesome. I love a girl who can work a cat suit.

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  11. a tall, dominant female accountant in a catsuit wrestling in a pool of jelly?

    Not an unpleasing image. Ta Lulu.

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  12. How can the camera boys endure such female pulchritudinousness in their midst? I expect to see some wobbly film emerging from their cameras.

    This is really just a collection of nature loving superheroes, isn't? Sort of Deathwatchnbeetlemen?

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  13. Lulu - a small token of my appreciation awaits you over at my blog. You're fab!

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  14. fascinating stuff.

    I am captivated by your slideshow.

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  15. Pru - I love a girl who can work a cat suit - I'm pretty impressed when a boy pulls it off too.

    Mr Musgrove - I'm aiming to please - and selling tickets

    Mme DeFarge
    How can the camera boys endure such female pulchritudinousness in their midst?

    we are way too scary, if the camera work is wobbly, that's fear you're looking at

    I always adore tokens of appreciation - thank you very much

    Hello Carnalis - Good to see you here, take a seat

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  16. I like your style and the details you chooe to give us:
    "I am met by Monsieur Bert, an elderly neighbour with dark leathery skin and sharp blue eyes. We walk through cold, cobwebby rooms, opening squeaky shutters to reveal mosaic floors and painted ceilings. All the furniture is outlined with orange dust where the woodworm have been busy."

    I'm curious what happens next!

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  17. Deborah - All the furniture is outlined with orange dust where the woodworm have been busy.

    I'm curious what happens next!
    Well - one of those tables collapsed recently, it was like a cow falling slowly to it's knees

    Ian - I like her too

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