Monday, May 11

Boogie Nite

11th May
I was a bit late arriving at the village bar on Friday night and walked into a scene straight out of a David Lynch movie, tables of retired army-types played dominoes, a tall, skinny man stood at the end of the room picking out gloomy tunes on a guitar, the Andrews Sisters sang over the speakers.

Brenda hosted the evening, she's seventy and had a lot of surgical enhancement in the days when they used to just pull your face up and tie it behind your ears, heaven knows what her chest is packed with. Her cigarette constantly on the go Brenda has never been known to surface before midday - possibly due to the fact that she is quite tiny and it's probably quite hard to overcome the gravitational pull of pre-war implants.

By the time I got to the bar Brenda, her wig awry, had clearly been on the electric soup. Wearing a long and shiny halter-neck dress, her breasts looked as though two cannon balls had been stuffed to the ends of a pair of tights, she waved a big Tupperware box of cheese straws at me and passed me a Pina Colada that she'd decided was one too many for her.

I had a go at the dominoes but it’s never really been my game and the old buffer opposite was nowhere near as funny as he thought he was. So I let him win quickly and settled on a bar stool for the rest of the evening with Brenda, her stories are relentlessly tragic but delivered with dry wit and the bleakest of black humour, she told me how she’d been in the process of buying a cocktail bar in Marbella but got waylaid by a fleeting affair with a young and muscled rogue who wanted to go to France it was the saddest story in the world - but strangely compelling. If you’ve never watched Coronation Street here’s a clip;


  1. Maybe there really *are* interesting folks behind the dreary looking bars that are in our town - if your community are anything to go by anyway.

    Still, it gets one out :) - I'm a bit of a lazy stop-at-home

  2. Dying for pictures of these characters!

    Pina colada? This seems way more like a beer and whiskey kinda place.

  3. I hope there is no expiration date for plastic surgery. Would hate to think what might happen to Brenda if things snapped.

  4. Hopefully nobody wanders near Brenda's chest with anything magnetic..if those surplus WW1 mines ever go off even the designer laden, supersleuths at CSI won't be able to solve that case.

    Whoa! Now I'm having a TWIN PEAKS flashback..I need some pie.

  5. I think we have to hold our next office night out in this bar. Sounds rather more compelling than anywhere we ever go. I want Brenda to adopt me.

  6. Ms Fancy - I bet if you go foraging in your bars you'll get better entertainment than you could imagine.

    Wow - When Brenda's in charge it's cocktails for everyone - even the cowboys!

    XL - I don't want to think about that either.

    Mr Hoopla - I love your current incarnation are we going to do a remake of Twin Peaks with you singing in the Red Room?

    Madame Banane - Brenda would adopt you no question - and she's always got cake

  7. Is it Brenda Havisham?

    Fascinating but a little frightening too.

    Love the graphic, as usual.

  8. i've heard all y'all talk about this show, sugar, now i am going to have to find it! i love the sound of y'alls bar! ;) xoxo

  9. Ah, poor Brenda. The story of the "young and muscled rogue" makes me think she is somebody out of a Jean Genet novel. But then she'd have to dress in a sailor's suit.

    Don't ever show us genuine pictures of these people. It's like with The Archers: the pictures we have in heads will always be more real!

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. K - There is a touch of the Havershams about Brenda, glad you're still liking the pix

    Sav - I didn't intend to go on about the bar so much but it is a compelling place.

    Gadj - I won't be putting up real photos partly for the keeping-it-in the-head reason but mainly for their privacy - I do have some cracking photos of Brenda though.

  12. I enjoy listening to elderly people's stories. They're usually sad and sad ones are often the best ones.

  13. Oh my! David Lynch; Richard Hamilton and Corrie all in one place! Loving it!

  14. Mr Marks - sad stories are often the best ones - I think it's easier to make the sad ones funny.

    David Lynch; Richard Hamilton and Corrie all in one place! With Dolly Parton thrown in for god measure - what's not to like?

  15. Oh, I'd kill for those photos of Brenda.
    The montage is a beauty. Glad you liked the underpants in the Church.

  16. Bet Lynch WITHOUT leopard print?

    Oh Hai XL!

  17. I think I'd be right at home there as my wife sometimes says I'm weird.

  18. Joeyjojojo - I notice we've both gone for a pink theme in today's images

    Those church window underpants should've been in the vestry shouldn't they?

    MJ - She went through a phase of wearing miniature lavatories as earrings - that was after Annie Walker left

    BB - This place is your spiritual home - you'd fit right in

  19. This sounds just like Cow's favorite night, especially the gloomy guy.

    Pina, please.


  20. Hi. Thanks for visiting my blog. You have some interesting characters in your neighborhood.

  21. Mrs Cow - I think you could moo a duet with that guitarist - I'll get the drinks in

    Lakeviewer - I am finding the neighborhood quite fascinating


Related Posts with Thumbnails