Wednesday, May 6

The Fixer


6th May
In the last post I couldn’t bring myself to mention that, apart from my sadness at Zizi’s departure, there has also been a massive row with the pétanque club* who are now boycotting the village bar. I can’t describe how despondent this makes me feel – although, as my desire for harmony here is purely self-centered, this amounts to self-pity which is never attractive.


My role on the tv production happening here is as a Fixer. A Fixer sorts stuff out, sometimes it’s stuff to do with getting sets made or getting kit ordered or fixed and a lot of it is just knowing where to get stuff. The easiest way to do this is to go where everyone congregates and until recently that has been the village bar.

Real live red-faced yelling and soap-opera brawling is great entertainment but counter-productive from my point of view. There are already several rifts among the French population here due to the usual generations-old family feuds, the last elections really wreacked havoc and now no-one goes to events in the village hall any more in case they bump into a sworn enemy.

There was a wonderful period last autumn when everyone came to the bar in regular shifts: If I needed a hornet’s nest or wanted to hire a barn I’d go before supper and catch the farmers. I could tap the Dutch at weekends if I need to borrow garden furniture. The Brits go after supper and many of them are twitchers or butterfly enthusiasts (they tend to do surveys which are extremely useful to us). So if they all fall out or one of these groups feels alienated the bar empties and I have to put a pie in my basket and go visiting instead.


* The pétanque club meets twice a week and is a really popular social event with the French, Dutch and British locals at the village bar where I have been known to do a turn as a waitress.

33 comments:

  1. Aaaw, it's so sad that the community watering hole has been filled with animosity. This is something that even the Fixer cannot fix.

    btw, "put a pie in my basket" means something entirely different in Canada.

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  2. What is Tammy Wynette doing under your car bonnet?

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  3. *looks at Katrocket*

    Good heavens. I thought I was your token Canadian.

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  5. Kat - Is a 'Pie in a Basket' like a 'Bun in the Oven' or a 'Pig in a Blanket'?

    MJ - my fondness for Blondes and Canadians knows no bounds

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  6. Is that a picture of Brenda (about whom I may now be dangerously obsessed)? Could you not occupy the bar and make everyone come to you, with or without a pie?

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  7. When I hear "Fixer" I think of Harvey Keitel's character in Pulp Fiction: "I solve problems."

    Oh Hai MJ!

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  8. you could have a reality show about your TV series filming, like they keep having in US/UK!!

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  9. I think all these community observations are central to your making-a-TV-series theme, not a sidebar. Really, I am fascinated. Who knew that French villages contained such contingents? The way they circle one another and interact would make a great sociological study. Love that picture too. Your hair looks smashing!

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  10. wouldn't it be easier to fill the bar with termites and film the locals?

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  12. Madame DeFarge - that is in fact a picture of Brenda taken in her prime. The pair of us are discussing taking over the bar and selling eel pie and liquor

    xl - I identify strongly with Harvey Keitel's character in Pulp Fiction - I do solve problems."

    Roshni - I'm wondering whether the reality show would make better telly than the bugs (but i can't say that out loud).

    K - I'm working on a thesis about smalltown communities, I'll probably call it Village Of The Cuckoos or Midwich Wives - d'you think it'll sell?

    Thrilled you're liking the hair

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  13. Kev - you've an eye for the horror angle there - That also is a bigger crowd pleaser I feel.

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  14. i'd watch this on tv, sugar! ;) xoxox

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  15. This saga is reaching Jean de Florette status. An alternative idea would be to retrain as a hairdresser - ideas are swapped and revolutions fomented at the village barbershop.

    I was thinking it was a young Yootha Joyce toying with that car engine.

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  16. Sav - Well I'll do 'Great Barroom Brawls' if you do 'Savvy Suppers'

    Gadj - If I set up a salon, The Director would have to be rebranded as The Hairdresser's Husband - that would confuse him.

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  17. Oh, the hair salon idea is a good one... you wouldn't have far to go for a beehive...
    Sx
    Apologies - couldn't resist.

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  18. Dusty Springfield, I'm convinced. Humour me on this one Lulu, she impressed me so much.

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  19. pie in basket = pig in blanket

    and a big hello to MJ! You can still be Lulu's Official Token Canadian if you'll let me be the Treasurer of her Canadian Fan Club. ;)

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  20. Scarlet - you wouldn't have far to go for a beehive...

    And when have you been known to beehive yourself?

    Inkspot - Dusty Springfield it is - joining our crew as chief mechanic next month.


    Kat - MJ's Canadian Fan Club doesn't need a treasurer, it needs a Madame - are you up to the challenge?

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  21. These centuries old feuds really are astonishing. We have a few sworn enemies in our little area and we are the only family that everyone either talks to (and probably about)or invites in for aperos.

    I suddenly thought of a question - why didn't you set up the production in an English house?

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  22. Frenchie - I should probably do a post about why France - briefly it's the better weather, lower costs, better access to wild areas and the fact that species that are rare in the UK are found easily and in great numbers here, especially ants and butterflies.

    Doing the pilot in the UK I spent 2 days researching where one could still find a Wood Ant colony, the closest was a two-hour drive, within a locked area in a national park, so I had to make an appointment (several phone calls) and pay for a pass - it rained that day...

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  23. And when have you been known to beehive yourself?.
    .
    Toupée!... Or rather touché!
    Sx

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  24. "Fixer"

    Dogs and cats live in fear of you...

    Moo!

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  25. Scarls will you wear a toupée when you're fortune telling? - where will you wear this toupée?

    Mrs Cow - Would that be on account on my habit of putting them in my pies?

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  26. Sorry about your misfortune in losing most all your contacts. I thought political animosity was only in America. Isn't it ugly.

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  27. I love the pub stories. Conflict makes for great story telling.

    By the way - I love pulp fiction. Can you do a pulp fiction spoof of your bug show?

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  28. BB - I'm afraid you don't get to have the monopoly on political animosity - universally true, universally ugly

    Mr Awkward - Ah now if it'sonflict you're after...

    I have started whiling away my spare time devising spoof shows - Pulp Fiction would be a good one

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  29. If it's as cold as last year then I might wear it on my chest...
    OR I could double up as the Bearded Lady.
    Sx

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  30. Last night I was watching a TV program about a film crew covering an active volcano in Malaysia. The thing started to erupt and pandemonium ensued. The narrator said, "XXX, our Fixer, is getting the van turned around so that we can get off the mountain!"

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  31. Isn't the pub the heart of the town? Sad about all the strife. Hopefully it will pass.

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  32. Scarlet - I'm guessing you could reinterpret the toupée into a whole new beardy sort of act.



    XL - I'm so tempted to pretend that I was that Fixer - unfortunately I'm guessing it must've been some other woman - lucky bitch gets volcanoes and everything - I just get cockroaches.

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  33. Alphawoman - the cyclical nature of these things is inescapable

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